b3ta.com user D-A-P
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» Fancy Dress

oh, I forgot...
there was a bad taste party in my first year in halls- cue msot girls finding tat from the local charity shops.

Cue a bunch of use blokes making Nazi armbands and pinning various meassages to our t-shirts:

"Myra Hindley- my kind of woman"
"Abortions are cool"
and, my personal favourite, worn by my friend Geoff
"Adolf Hitler had the right idea, Joseph Stalin was great guy, Pol Pott was alright, and Princess Di can burn in hell"

The looks on the faces of those who could only see one interpretation of "bad taste"...
(Wed 18th Jan 2006, 15:32, More)

» Accidentally Erotic

Walking to town
Bizarre combination of:

- looseness of fly on boxers
- looseness/positioning of trousers
- speed of my walking

= essentially wanking myself off with my trousers as I walked into town on saturday night.

(Tue 7th Feb 2006, 14:12, More)

» Sacked

Probly bindun
Not me, but...

My Grandad got the sack pretty much every day.

He was a postman.

(Fri 24th Feb 2006, 16:07, More)

» Accidentally Erotic

Working on a Saturday
I'm stuck at work on a Saturday, right now, and for some unknown reason I've had the horn pretty much all morning.

I've just suddenly realised this has happened almost every Saturday I've worked in recent memory, and never in the week.

In my department I'm sat on my own, at the back, in a corner, but there's got to be more to it than that...

man, I'm more messed up than I thought...
(Sat 4th Feb 2006, 12:01, More)

» Fancy Dress

Not really anecdotes, more a list
I don't really have much in the way of embarassing stories, but i do love my fancy dress parties and will force them on other people whenever I can.

In recent years I've done:

Cartoon Characters- I went as He-Man complete with a furry cushion cover as my "trunks" and chest plate made out of mousemats I stole from work. A couple of friends turned up as Daphne and Velma from Scooby-Doo, only for someone else to turn up in a full Scooby outfit.

Winners & Losers- Went as Hulk hogan. Actually grew the moustache for it and got a t-shirt printed up

Sit-Com characters- blacked up and thanks to a visit to TK maxx sportswear dept made a rather convincing Fresh Prince of Bel Air. The hair was made out of card covered in felt. One girl turned up as the tortoise from the opening credits of One Foot in the Grave- priceless.

And for various Hallowe'ens, I've been Ash (Evil Dead- complete with cardboard chainsaw and all-too accurate scars), Snake Plisken, and most recently a Ghostbuster. This particular one cost me over £70 to make, including the photo-accurate proton pack which was complete with various lights and sounds. Trouble was, I had to dislocate me shoulder just to put the gun into its holster. It was worth it.

Apologies for length, first time, boringness
(Wed 18th Jan 2006, 15:30, More)
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