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» School fights

School fights back
Long ago when I was about 14 I went to the local comprehensive school where there were loads of fights between pupils. The best fight ever tho was the whole school versus the headmaster.

This was back in the eighties but our headmaster was straight out of the Victorian era, a real old-school and formidible character who terrified even the hardest 16 year olds, let alone the little 11 yr olds.

With a single glare he could turn you to stone and his booming authoratative voice would stop the naughtiest bad-ass in his tracks. Needless to say the whole school both feared and hated him.

Every monday morning the entire school would go to the large gym and have to stand before the head for a general asembly where he would be stood on a plinth making announcememnts about this and that.

One winter monday morning we are all standing in the gym listening to this scary old relic when it became clear that some poor lad in the first year (11-12yrs old) had been packed off to school by his mum despite the fact that he clearly had quite a nasty cough.

As the headmasters announcements continued it was obvious this lads cough wasn't getting any better and suddenly, mid-sentence about an upcoming school play or some bollocks the headmaster shot out his long bony arm and finger at the unwell kid and boomed "Stop that coughing boy!!" whilst simultaneously leaning forward on his plinth at an angle that appeared to ignore gravity.

Something strange and amazing happened then, I dont really know if it was about the injustice of the sick boy being shouted at or the fact that our headmaster had momentarily lost the plot but a dozen or so kids scattered about the hall began to cough as loudly as they dared without moving their lips. Within a couple of seconds about 90% of the school's pupils had joined in so the best part of 500 kids were openly telling our archaic headmaster to "Fuck right off" - albeit with a cacophony of coughing.

After a few seconds it became difficult to cough because very few people could refrain from laughing - including quite a few of the teachers (who in fear of losing thier jobs were desperately trying not to).

The headmasters face was an absolute picture, he went the deepest shade of purple, drew in a huge breath and with a bellow that could have stopped a charging rhino he announced that the whole school would reconvene for general asembly at the end of the day (esentially giving EVERYONE detention) before storming out of the hall, clearly gobsmacked at the fact the whole school had the audacity to stand up to him.

That was one of the best school days ever, despite the looming 15 minute detention the feeling of solidarity from lowly 11 year old to strapping 16 year old bully was tangible, we'd all stuck together and put one over on our scary (straight out the dark-ages type) headmaster.

It would be interesting to know if any other b3tans went to the same school and were there that day.

Apologies for nothing
(Mon 13th Mar 2006, 23:18, More)