b3ta.com user TheUnf0rg1ven
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Crudely Fashioned Cock

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» Accidentally Erotic

Im a conventional man really....
... usually the women i like are slim, long hair (colour not important) pretty and with a good personality. A couple of weeks ago I was looking to see if i had any messages on one of those faceparty-esq websites (wont mention which coz some of you know my real name), lo and behold i did, one was off a couple of chubby little tarts from a little town just outside of manchester saying somthing along the lines of 'corr yor well fit' so i send them a message back thanking them, we traded e-mails and chatted regularly on MSN Messenger. Their flirtation escalated to the point where i snapped as ive been shagless for some time due to lack of beer tokens. I met them for a few drinks and we ended up back at my house where i ended up in bed with the pair of them, we meet regularly now for threesomes so my 'accidentally erotic' thing is enjoying having two fat women riding me on a regular basis.
(Thu 2nd Feb 2006, 23:18, More)

» Worst Nicknames Ever

Fat kid in our school's nickname:
(Tue 23rd May 2006, 22:28, More)

» Never Meet Your Heroes

Bullseye legend Jim Bowen
I work for mercedes benz and had the pleasure of speaking on the phone to the great Jim "Undredaneighyyyyyy" Bowen. He was interested in the brand new S-Class and as i had been in the job for 3 days and hadnt the foggiest idea what the hell he was talking about, started paniking a bit. He must have realised i was new at the job and said in his hushed voice "Take your time son, take your time" Just like in bullseye. I laughed so loud the whole office looked at me, i then totally ballsed up the call by telling him about all these standard features that were actually optional (and extortionate) extras. Had to explain why i burst out laughing to the boss too, he listened to the call and i had to redo the training, was like being left behind a year in school.
(Wed 31st May 2006, 0:50, More)

» School fights

Mid to High Level BadBwai in my year is picking on my mate....
....i was in my vigilante mode and marched up to him and told him to leave him alone, after much talk we agree that afterschool in the jungle (small area of trees and foliage at the far end of the football field with enough cover for cigarettes/drinking/soft drugs/snogging/fingering/shagging etc). After a terrifying school day that dragged on like pergatory i found myself shaking as i walked across the gravel toward the jungle, as i get there he's already waiting, looking more scared than i was which gave me hope. I stepped up into the circle of about 50 kids who turned up for the fight. I raise my fist in a boxing stance and POW! out of nowhere i get belted right in the jaw. After i came out of shock i saw him stood there looking at me in disbelief and then came the red mist.
I Flew at him all guns blazing, must have landed about 6 blows to his head before he dropped. I wanted out of there, now! I turned away immediately and marched toward the gate, heart pounding in my chest when out of nowhere i feel a kick in my back and the kerb flying up toward my face. After much kicking of the head and begging for mercy I ended up with a nemesis for the rest of my life and a bit more respect because everyone said I had the better of the fight and he was a shithead for kicking me when my back was turned. I lost the battle but won the war. Last time i saw that cunt he was working in a second hand shop and im in a high paying job for a prestige car company. Two - Nil,Two - Nil,Two - Nil,Two - Nil,Two - Nil,Two - Nil,Two - Niiiiil........
(Tue 14th Mar 2006, 22:34, More)