» Accidentally Erotic

Sports Injury Clinic
Back in the days when I could play football rather than just watch it on telly, I was quite injury prone and had the need to attend a Sports Injury Clinic on quite a regular basis.
At the time I lived in a flat and a mate lived below me who was into body building and also attended the same clinic for various muscle complaints.

On the particular visit in question I had been suffering from a problem with my lower back which required me to strip down to my skimpies and receive some painful spine cracking and joint manipulation. Now the lady physio who saw to me was a strange looking thing, but not entirely unattractive, she was like a cross between Uma Thurman and Marty Feldman. She was a very friendly girl who was obviously used to man-handling her patients in sometimes intimate areas.

Due to the location of my injury she had given me a very deep back massage that required the moving of my pants half way down my arsecrack (I was lying face down on the couch at the time). The massage was very pleasant and as well as nearly sending me to sleep, had given me a decent sized semi. I couldn't help it.
As she finished the massage and washed the oil from her hands, she asked me to stand up so she could examine my hips. I paused before I slid off the couch to to my feet trying to think of things to shrink my bouncing semi.

Now, as I got to my feet, pants half down and willy half up, she dropped to her knees and put her arms on my hips gripping my pant elastic, and said to me, "So, how is Mr Muscle downstairs ? I haven't seen him for a while, is he still pumping ?"

In one bizarre moment my cock twitched like it received 10,000 volts, as I was aroused, surprised, shocked, and finally......... dissapointed to realise that she was not refering to my now shrinking with embarassment Love Muscle, but to my muscle-bound neighbour who lived in the flat underneath me.

She pulled my pant elastic back to it's rightful place and told me I could now get dressed.

I have no idea if she was deliberately using double entendres, but I left the surgery red faced, and with a damp patch in my Calvin Kleins.


* My first post after months of lurking in the shadows !
(Thu 2nd Feb 2006, 15:06, More)

» School fights

Not really a fight, more of a kicking, but funny.
We had a lad at school who seemed to be so much bigger than anyone else, and although he wasn't really a bully, he knew he was harder than other normal sized kids and certainly used his size to his advantage.
After some argument - I have no idea over what - he decided to chase me and give me a thrashing. After landing a punch on me, I did the only thing I could - curl up in a ball and hope that a teacher came before I died.
Seeing me curled up, led him to give up on fists and instead went to kick me. As he swung his leg for the second or third time, I moved and he missed - his air shot causing his trendy slip on shoe with tassles to be launched into the air, and in what seemed like comedy slow motion, to land on the roof of a mobile classroom. I was crying with laughter as each subsequent sock kicked me in the ribs.
I think he got a detention along with a wet foot.
(Fri 10th Mar 2006, 14:44, More)