» Accidentally Erotic

whilst being strapped in my plane seat
a stunningly attractive stewardess leaning over me to put someones luggage into the overhead compartment and struggling to get the bag stowed away, i was forced to sit there whilst she bashed her heaving bosom against my head (repeatedly) and she was concentrating on her task whilst i was really enjoying the facial massage, only inappropriate as i was with my fiancee who is terrified on flying and was clutching my hand whilst covering her eyes with the other, spent most of the trip just staring at the stewardess and dreaming....
(Fri 3rd Feb 2006, 15:52, More)

» Worst Nicknames Ever

thankyou hippie parents
i have the pleasure of being given the middle name of elrond (circa lord of the rings), a great name to grow up with hence time spent explaining who elrond was, lord of the elves etc only to be constantly called Prince of the fairies, the fairy king etc all i needed as an emotionally disturbed teen anyway.
I'm currently known as Pockets as i always talk to customers with both hands deeply in my pockets, i even get company memo's to mr pockets, at least it's better than king of the fairys,
aplogies for boredom and crapness
(Fri 19th May 2006, 11:58, More)

» Ignoring Instructions

rebuilding motorbike engines
few years back and was sharing a flat with my brother who was helping rebuild a motor bike engine for me, i say helping- i made the tea, anyway despite my constant suggestion to read the haynes manual to ensure it worked he refused and continued in his efforts, several hours later and all i could hear is excessive swearing and hammering, i investigated to find an iron spike that had been hammered through the engine in his absolute disgust that the rebuilt engine wouldnt work, instructions pah! who needs them, actually he did.
(Thu 4th May 2006, 17:30, More)

» Never Meet Your Heroes

norman wisdom made me freeze
i used to work on a small used car site in deal (kent), one boring day i saw an old man browsing round and bowled out in my usual confident salesman manner to be face to face with Sir norman of wisdom saying hello and waiting for me to recognise him and pass the time of day, i completely froze, sort of mumbled" can i help you?" to which he just smiled and walked off, i was left gutted, emotionally drained and embarrassed at being stagestruck by a diminutive old man who i actually never thought was that funny anyway, by the way his sister lives around the corner.
also barry (ex eastenders) pops into my current garage quite frequently but i make a point of avoiding him because i think he is king of all twats. apologies for dullness and length
(Thu 25th May 2006, 16:22, More)