» Useless advice

If you click the "i like this" link a few times i will magically make your life better
Penis length, new porsche, bigger house, better sex life..... Go on try it.




It might work.



You just never know.




Until you try.
(Thu 19th Oct 2006, 14:31, More)

» My Greatest Regrets

My Greatest Regret
was blindly stumbling around the interweb in my ignorant bliss, until by chance happened on a stange photo of a great white attacking a south african navy chopper crew under the golden gate bridge. Curious, and slighty scared i followed the breadcrumb trail to a site called "bee-three-tee-aa" where rape, and child molestation are laughed at, Pictures of kittens are cooed over, where the quo randomly appear before impending disaster, and where a mysterious beast called the Magic Donkey resides. Yes, my biggest, greatest and most fearsome regret was not listening to enough johhny cash.

oh yes, and im sorry for shagging that five year old up the shitter with a weasel and toilet roll tube....



And for killing JFK...


and the whole Iraq war thing...

And putting that fucking iceberg out to melt in front of the Titanic...

And disobeying the "no Smoking" sign on the Hindenburg....

And leaving the landing lights on In the World Trade Center on the 10th...

i may shut up now


*crawls back under rock*
(Tue 10th Oct 2006, 21:11, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

Smirnoff Booze
Everytime you get your grubby mitts on a litre bottle of Smirnoff, take a knife and cut the red collar left around the bottle neck after you have cracked the cap off. You will see three letters. If the three lettrs have a full stop afer them, then thats one i spat in.
Try it, I shit you not!

/diageo
(Fri 28th Sep 2007, 22:41, More)

» Useless advice

Mr Branston walked into my office last week
and told me that we in the Marketing should be more Internet savvy. So i looked up a few sites, and found one that ran an image challenge. After much phoning i set them to produce images so i could pick the best and sit on my arse for a week.
Several days later Mr Branston burst in clutching pictures of people pissing on each other and child rape.

I now live under a bridge.
(Thu 26th Oct 2006, 19:12, More)

» Accidentally Erotic

eeep
This is me FP, an i dont know bout the rest of u but goth/punk chicks do it for me every time


cough
(Wed 8th Feb 2006, 19:50, More)