b3ta.com user I don't lie I change the truth
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for I don't lie I change the truth:
Profile Info:


Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Teenage Parties

here goes...
Once went to a fancy dress party that had a theme of the "P", yes I could've dressed a penis but I decided on psycho instead. So happily enough I went wild with fake blood over some old clothes and filled a black bin bag with bone-like objects. There were several problems:

1. My mate and his gf decided not to turn up so I knew no one.

2. My blood spattering was a bit over zealous so I got stopped and searched by the police who thought I had killed someone (thank god I didn't take my blood caked baseball bat)

3. When I eventually arrived all I got was one ear piercing shriek from the hostess....which hurt A LOT, my ears were still ringing after an hour. Although to be fair imagine someone turning up on your doorstep all bloodied and carrying a black bag

Eventually I sat talking to a Puss in Bots all night and drinking flat Smirnoff Ice...it could've been worse.......maybe not
(Thu 13th Apr 2006, 15:08, More)

» My computer gave away my secrets

Oh dear
I managed to find the cartoons that had set the Muslim world on a rampage. To my disgust no one had seen them so naturally I put them in an attachment and emailed it to every single contact in my list.
It seems that my university choices, teachers, friends that I don't want to talk to and right-wing muslim fanatical friends received them. Cue a lot of harsh emails being sent back.
(Sun 12th Feb 2006, 10:24, More)

» School Trips

Skiing Trip
To keep it short and sweet. Some guy on our trip did what must've been a humongous turd of massive proportions. It jammed the toilet. We went skiing for the day. We came back water everywhere floor had sagged. Cue large argument with hotel manager about crap toilets and money
(Tue 12th Dec 2006, 15:03, More)

» School fights

Not really.......
a fight nor was it in school, but it was on CCF. I was trying to get all the cadets to shut up and go to sleep. I step up to the loudest and give him a right bollocking. I turn around and he starts laughing again. I proceed to get my D Cell Mag Light in one swift movement the butt of the mag light connected with his stomach. He shut up quite quickly nor spoke much afterwards. Not a fight really but funny in a psychotic power trip kinda way.
(Fri 10th Mar 2006, 21:45, More)

» Accidentally Erotic

I was in CCF today with my mate, who happens to be head of my section. Suddenly he is set upon by the lowering ranking NCOs(they're weirdoes) who starting to stroke him and say is name. Suddenly he blurts out "Ooo, I find this mildly erotic".
(Mon 6th Feb 2006, 21:07, More)
[read all their answers]