b3ta.com user @RBFesquire
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View my page on The b3ta bunk3r

Visit The b3ta bunk3r

Thanks to BombayMick for response to a redazril thread:-)

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Join the Shop a Fellow B3tard group HERE


Meet the family.

Thanks Monty and Captain Pilchard for finding the great Wired For Sound for me.

More Cliff here!!! Official Site and Wired For Sound here!!! With thanks to Monty Propps and Captain Pilchard.

More cliffy goodness by Jorvic.

Daisypath Ticker

A proud member of the Shat club. May cliff bless monty.

If you feel so compelled as to want to MSN me, the address is [email protected]. This email is n longer used, so feel free to send any old crap to it.


is a Giant Robot that spits Jets of Water, and is Wreathed with Flames.

Strength: 9 Agility: 3 Intelligence: 9

To see if your Giant Battle Monster can
defeat raginbullfrog, enter your name and choose an attack:

fights raginbullfrog using

Lilypie Next Birthday Ticker

My old mucker, MontyPropps made this vid of Anthea Turner getting burned, coupled with the Wilheim Scream. It made me chuckle a lot.

My second b3taday cake. Isnt it pretty?

With great thanks to Valin :-)

If you feel so compelled as to want to MSN me, the address is [email protected]. This email is n longer used, so feel free to send any old crap to it.

Best radio station evar!!! Dandelion radio.

I am slightly in love with Miranda Kerr. Isnt she lovely.

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

The University of Blogging

Presents to

An Honorary
Bachelor of
Self Deprication

Majoring in
Comment Spam
Dr. GoQuiz.com


Blogging Degree
From Go-Quiz.com

The lovely tOria made this:

Hit Counter
Hit Counter

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Viscount Purplemonkeydishwasher the Cowardly of Colquhoun St Cahoon
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Flight of the Hamsters How far can you get them to fly?

Made by a-walla-fa-shag-ba. Cheers dude. Oh and awarded to thealmightybeev. Well done.

What Flavour Are You? Buzz buzz, I am Coffee flavoured.Buzz buzz, I am Coffee flavoured.

I am popular in the workplace, even though I am often bitter. I am energetic to the point of being frenetic; buzz buzz, out of my way. I tend to overwork myself and need periods of recovery time. What Flavour Are You?

Find loads of cool photoshop stuff here. About 7000 things to download.

Get it from CNET Download.com!

My first b3taday cake, made by TBL. Cheers and all that.

Some of my shit:

Quite proud of this one

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» I met a weirdo on the interweb

Misread title.
I was lazily chatting on a web site chat room. I put in my normal stupid login name like Peter File, just to see if anyone got it. All of a sudden. A lovely message came from Chrissy CD. Now, being slightly sheltered from all this web speak at the time, I thought this particular person was from County Durham, or some else that has CD as intials. For example, the people from Florida used FL. One thing led to another and we were hitting the gutter talking dirty to each other. Then the request for photos came. I jumped at the chance. Eagerly with my free hand I reached to the download button only to find what could be descried as a Tommy Vance lookaliky person wearing a black miniskirt and his meat and two veg dangling for the world to see. The studded dog collar was the last of my worries as he sraddled the bed with a sign saying "chrissy wants you". Little did I know that CD stood for cross dreasser, and some fucker could have told me sooner.
(Sun 19th Mar 2006, 15:44, More)

» Guilty Pleasures, part 2

When I change watch batteries at work,
if the customer is annoying, I write 'the owner of this watch is a cunt' in indelible ink on the inside of the case. Replace it, and hand it back. The customer wonders blissfully unaware of the obscenity they are carrying around with them. That is very satisfying.

Oh, and dwarf porn.
(Sat 15th Mar 2008, 19:09, More)

» Have you ever seen a dead body?

Dirty old man.
I had to 'work' in an old folks home when I was about 16, courtesy of the Fuzz. There was many deaths, as you would imagine. The most memorable being a guy called Sid. He was a lovely guy. He was married, but had a dirty secret. He couldn't help but molest the female residents. He would try and kiss them. Touch them up. And generally rub up against them in the hallway.

This was until, alas, I caught him hanging off a bed with his trousers around his ankles, trying to kiss a lady, and miserably attempting to clamber on the bed.

'GET OFF HER SID' I shouted, and barged into the room. He jumped and his little chap wobbled in the affray, poking out of his Y-fronts. And the bugger collapsed on the floor. 'For fucks sake', I thought. 'I've killed him'.

I reached down, and I could see he was breathing. He was fine after all, but the lady somehow lay perfectly still she didn't even jump or stir. She just lay there, dead.
(Tue 4th Mar 2008, 20:09, More)

» Heckles

Done some in my time
My finest I think was at a Culture Club do a few years back. My missus made me go and I was bored shitless.One of the acts (cant remember his name) said "this song is so beautiful. I would like it played at my funeral"Then I shouted YOU DIED TEN MINUTES AGO MATE. Made the Albert Hall laugh, I think.
(Fri 7th Apr 2006, 16:33, More)

» Annoying words and phrases

Phrases and things I hate:
At the end of the day!

People who do 'air quotes'.

People who say 'oh really' in a disinterested sarcastic way.

Upswing on words, when the pitch gets higher at the end of a sentence. Only Australians are allowed this.

'When I was a kid' when the person is about 11 years old. (i.e my Daughter)


Innit, summink and d'nt. Or 'eastenders speak' as I like to call it.

Winking inappropriately at the end of a sentence.

Saying 'OMFG' as if it has been in their lexicon all their life. (its bastards like this who ruin the Oxford English).

Bastardization and Americanization of words. Some proof of this annoyance is in how Opera spell checked both of the previous words and stuck a Z where an S should be. I now stand corrected on this and find it as acceptable as stroking a kitten. Others include 'tonite, color and flavor'.

Anthea Turner.

When papers like the SUN put WORDS in BLOCK CAPITALS because they think we are to THICK to read these with emphasis ourselves.CUNTS.


Oh and 'chillax'.

Also, just remembered. We are having a diamond training course at work. Just because you have ticked a few boxes and answered a few questions does not make you a fucking 'specialist'.


People who cant read a paper without moving their fucking lips.

Good point, well made...
(Mon 12th Apr 2010, 18:43, More)
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