b3ta.com user harryfreeze
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» Accidental innuendo

oh dear
My mother, the cat lover, at the christmas dinner table with my cousins dog snuffling around people's legs uttered the immortal Slocombesque line:
"Do you think he can smell my pussy?"

The youngsters all started to splutter stuffing across the table whilst my sage old uncle cast us a pityful look and said "don't, you'll just have to explain it".
(Sat 14th Jun 2008, 10:34, More)

» Useless Information

there is such a thing as a scale for rating poo - it is called the Bristol Stool Scale - it rates poo's from 1-7:

excuse the pic on a reply page but i think it's warranted.

apparently, from a medical perspective, a 4 is ideal.
(Fri 18th Mar 2005, 12:24, More)

» Inappropriate crushes

gail tilsley
(Thu 28th Sep 2006, 19:39, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

kids are weirder
we had the one with the history of cottaging, the one(s) who watched us in the showers after PE, the one who was jailed for fondling boys in his flat and the one who was charged with murdering his ex-girlfriend.

but the one who received the most constant abuse was the one who wore sandals, had a funny haircut and a weird voice.
(Wed 9th Nov 2005, 19:01, More)

» Posh

in hyde park the other week
my 3 year old boy was playing on a climbing frame with the daughter of Lady Helen Windsor, who was standing nearby. I had aspirations of a burgeoning friendship until he got all excited, ran past the girl and barged her to the ground.
(Thu 15th Sep 2005, 12:30, More)
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