b3ta.com user stapleface
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hello peoples.

i have a splendid hat.

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» Mobile phone disasters

messages from beyond
My father passed away on Monday.

I was away at a festival all weekend, he'd left me a voicemail, which I only found out about yesterday. I listened to it, and he was his usual self, despite the illness. I didn't want to lose this, so I called Orange, and the lovely chap on their end talked me through how to record the voicemail from my phone, and then called me back later on to make sure everything had worked out.

He also left some on my mothers phone.

Her phone isn't as high spec as mine, and doesn't have call recording. I rang tesco mobile, and the tech support spent some time trying to work out whether her phone would do it, whether my old phone might, and which phones should do it. In the end he called someone else to ask whether they could put a block on them being deleted, and then put me through to a young lady who promised that she would try to find a way to record them for us.

They phoned back today, they're setting up recording equipment at their end, they're going record them and send us a minidisc with the two mails on.

Now whenever my mum and I start to miss him too much, we can listen to his voice and just think about him.

(If anyone knows of a fairly cheap Minidisc player with pc connections and all that stuff that would be awesomes.)

Edit: Miss Mookroolz has kindly offered us a minidisc player. Thank you all for your assistance and kind wishes. You're all lovely.
(Wed 5th Aug 2009, 10:14, More)

» Social Networking Gaffes

Facebook Status

Now I'm not sure whether this is my or their gaffe, but on the facebook there are a few people from work, and I sometimes make quite silly little comments as to my status, such as:
"being eaten by a grue."
"doesn't like your face."
"oh god please make it stop"

One weekend a girl at work asks me why I told her she was stupid. On further inspection, it seemed I'd put "Danny thinks you're probably an idiot" as my status, and she'd thought it was a message directed at her.
(Sun 14th Sep 2008, 18:11, More)

» Customers from Hell

i've never had
to deal with the public, fortunately. I've dealt with my share of idiots in the warehouse though, but no stories spring to mind.

If any of you are enjoying this qotw, you may like this site though.
(Fri 5th Sep 2008, 0:55, More)

» Bastard Colleagues

Fat Club
Ah, Fatty Bathshitter. Tends to spend most of the day stuffing her fat face and talking to her assistant (who sat opposite her) on MSN much of the day. When I was in the office, you could tell because one would be typing, and then the other would start laughing. I actually found it difficult to be in the same room as her. I'm still not sure what she actually does all day.

A little while after I started, I was told that she was almost timing me every time I was away from my desk, a little petty, but I kept my nose clean. She blamed me for something in front of the whole office, but when I protested my innocence (and pointed out that the computer program we were using actually had logged who had done it, and it wasn't me) refused to believe me. I kept my nose clean.

There was a lot of this petty bullying, like talking about me behind my back, but I tried to rise above it. This was helped by the fact that ninety-five percent of the other people in the whole office despise her.

At a leaving do, she told people that she had shat in her bath, and left it. To be fair, she didn't mean to tell everyone, only her friend/follower, but apparently she said it in one of those "everybody goes quiet at the same time" moments.

Yesterday she was called into another managers office, after a little while she stormed out. I've been told an advertisement for her job was on the printer this evening... oh how my heart sings.

My other boss, the one who had given me the job was a bit strange, we had our ups and downs, and he made me wear a shirt and tie, but I can forgive him. Turned out his wife had to stay in a hospital or such due to a brain aneurysm, which I assume left her pretty paralysed. He would spend EVERY weekend with her. Apparently she had lost most of her memories, and didn't even recognise him, and would talk about how she used to have a lovely husband. He would still spend his Christmas day feeding her himself though. When I found that out, well, let's just say that my respect for him rocketed from near rock bottom to quite high. A man who is prepared to do that for his wife... I kind of regret not telling him how much I respected him for that.

I'd better stop, if I say much more it could be quite identifying.
(Tue 29th Jan 2008, 20:09, More)

» Faking it

I got accused
Of faking it earlier today, actually.

So I'm in bed with this girl[1], and since we've already made the beast with two backs several times, naturally I'm a bit tired, and when she starts to go down on me, I did worry that I wouldn't be able to finish.

Somehow I managed it, and I thought she would stop, but she didn't, and kept going for a while afterwards (which actually hurt a little bit), and I was lying there thinking "how can you stop a girl from giving you a blowjob?"[2] until she eventually gave up, took it out of her mouth, and told me it had gone soft.

"Well I'm not surprised, I finished about ten minutes ago. Frankly I'm proud I was able to stay up for so long afterwards."
"You never came!"
"Believe me, I did. I'm pretty used to the feeling,"
"No, you can't have, there was no stuff!"
"Honestly, I did come, sometimes there's just not any come."
"That doesn't happen!"
"Of course it does!"
"If you didn't like it, you could have said."
"But I did like it, it was fantastic. Hence my orgasm."
"You must have faked it."
"Well, I didn't. If you want to believe that, then that's fine, but I'll just lie here being right, and you'll be wrong."

She didn't believe me, so she actually rang a friend of hers (a gay dude, who she described as "having had loads more cock than you") to find out whether it is possible for a man to come without any issue. He told her that it could happen, but then at the end of the phone call said "yeah, but he was faking it".

Well, she was right in a way, but she should have asked me about three hours earlier, because what she didn't seem to notice is that when we were fucking, I did finish a bit too early so had to carry on for ages and pretend to finish. I thought she would have spotted that one, but I got away with it, only to be falsely accused later on.

[1] who I really hope doesn't read b3ta.
[2] and if anyone can tell me, i'd be really grateful. i mean i suppose i could have just grabbed her and kissed her, but i don't think she'd have got the hint, she seemed to be enjoying herself.
(Mon 14th Jul 2008, 3:56, More)
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