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- a member for 18 years, 1 month and 19 days
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» Karma
Karma fucked me over good
I don't really believe in karma, but if it really does exist I am most certainly it's bitch. Here is how it got me (apologies for length).
A few years ago me and mrs Lakejen800 were going through a bit of a rough patch. Enter cute chick from work. Add the fact that I, well past my teen years, am as hormone crazed and irresponsible as ever and put the two of us together on a work night out. Smooching (and a bit of groping) happens but nothing worse and I really didn't think much more of it until monday morning at work.
Everything is fine until towards the end of the day cute chick and I end up in a tiny room with no windows. More kissing (though less groping, we were at work after all) and an agreement to meet up later happens. Over the next couple of weeks we see a lot of each other and also end up doing the horizontal mambo one night. And yes, we did use condom. The "relationship" more or less ended after that night, so I, in my infinite wisdom, decide to just let it go and pretend that nothing happened. for about 1 week...
Then it starts hurting when I pee, and my little guy starts to get covered in yellow, foul smelling goo. Sure enough, a quick trip to the doc confirms that I have chlamydia which of course means that I have to come clean to mrs Lakejen800 (something I really should have done anyways) so she can go see the doc as well. Now, you'd think that getting chlamydia would be enough of a punishment for infidelity but karma had only just started on me.
After a week or 2 chlamydia has been treated and things (sort of) patched up with mrs Lakejen800, when I suddenly get this lingering pain in my right heel. It gradually gets worse over the next weeks, to the extent where I litterally cannot walk without the assistance of some serious pain killers. several trips to doc and a visit to a specialist later I get the diagnosis: Something called Reiter's syndrome (or post-infective arthritis). It turns out that one in a zillion people who get chlamydia also develop Reiter's (okay a bit exaggerated, but makes for a better story) and I just happen to be that one. At this point both my feet and my right hand are swelled up like balloons and without the painkillers I would pretty much have been 100% invalid. Only bright point is that Reiter's syndrome in most cases is temporary. Of course, for one in a zillion people it is NOT temporary. I'm sure you can guess who is amongst one in a zillion again. Yep, yours truly develops chronic arthritis at an age of less than 30.
Fortunately it is not nearly as bad as it was a couple of years ago. My right hand seems to be ok (thank god I didn't have to learn how to wank with my left hand) and I don't use pain killers anymore. I can essentially walk normally, but every time I take a step I am reminded of that mistake I made one night.
Quite frankly, I think karma has been just a tad hard on me. Bastard.
PS. I don't know why I am posting this, as mrs Lakejen800 will undoubtedly kill me if she finds out (and she does quite often read these pages) so let me just try and save my ass in advance: I am sorry, please please please forgive me. I love you a lot.
(Tue 26th Feb 2008, 13:03, More)
Karma fucked me over good
I don't really believe in karma, but if it really does exist I am most certainly it's bitch. Here is how it got me (apologies for length).
A few years ago me and mrs Lakejen800 were going through a bit of a rough patch. Enter cute chick from work. Add the fact that I, well past my teen years, am as hormone crazed and irresponsible as ever and put the two of us together on a work night out. Smooching (and a bit of groping) happens but nothing worse and I really didn't think much more of it until monday morning at work.
Everything is fine until towards the end of the day cute chick and I end up in a tiny room with no windows. More kissing (though less groping, we were at work after all) and an agreement to meet up later happens. Over the next couple of weeks we see a lot of each other and also end up doing the horizontal mambo one night. And yes, we did use condom. The "relationship" more or less ended after that night, so I, in my infinite wisdom, decide to just let it go and pretend that nothing happened. for about 1 week...
Then it starts hurting when I pee, and my little guy starts to get covered in yellow, foul smelling goo. Sure enough, a quick trip to the doc confirms that I have chlamydia which of course means that I have to come clean to mrs Lakejen800 (something I really should have done anyways) so she can go see the doc as well. Now, you'd think that getting chlamydia would be enough of a punishment for infidelity but karma had only just started on me.
After a week or 2 chlamydia has been treated and things (sort of) patched up with mrs Lakejen800, when I suddenly get this lingering pain in my right heel. It gradually gets worse over the next weeks, to the extent where I litterally cannot walk without the assistance of some serious pain killers. several trips to doc and a visit to a specialist later I get the diagnosis: Something called Reiter's syndrome (or post-infective arthritis). It turns out that one in a zillion people who get chlamydia also develop Reiter's (okay a bit exaggerated, but makes for a better story) and I just happen to be that one. At this point both my feet and my right hand are swelled up like balloons and without the painkillers I would pretty much have been 100% invalid. Only bright point is that Reiter's syndrome in most cases is temporary. Of course, for one in a zillion people it is NOT temporary. I'm sure you can guess who is amongst one in a zillion again. Yep, yours truly develops chronic arthritis at an age of less than 30.
Fortunately it is not nearly as bad as it was a couple of years ago. My right hand seems to be ok (thank god I didn't have to learn how to wank with my left hand) and I don't use pain killers anymore. I can essentially walk normally, but every time I take a step I am reminded of that mistake I made one night.
Quite frankly, I think karma has been just a tad hard on me. Bastard.
PS. I don't know why I am posting this, as mrs Lakejen800 will undoubtedly kill me if she finds out (and she does quite often read these pages) so let me just try and save my ass in advance: I am sorry, please please please forgive me. I love you a lot.
(Tue 26th Feb 2008, 13:03, More)
» Council Cunts
council workers don't need a brain
OK, it's not my story but I thought it was appropriate.
It has just been proven that you only need half a brain to work as a civil servant. Literally.
A man with an unusually tiny brain managed to live an entirely normal life as a civil servant.
Scans of the 44-year-old man's brain showed a huge fluid-filled chamber took up most of his skull.
French researchers say it left room for little more than a thin sheet of actual brain tissue.
"He was a married father of two children, and worked as a civil servant," Dr Lionel Feuillet of the Universite de la Mediterranee in Marseille wrote in a letter to the Lancet medical journal.
The man went to a hospital after he had mild weakness in his left leg.
When Dr Feuillet's staff took his medical history, they learned he had had a shunt inserted into his head to drain away water on the brain as an infant.
The researchers were astonished when scans showed a "massive enlargement" of the lateral ventricles - usually tiny chambers that hold the fluid that cushions the brain.
Intelligence tests showed the man had an IQ of 75, below the average score of 100 but not considered mentally retarded or disabled, either.
"What I find amazing to this day is how the brain can deal with something which you think should not be compatible with life," said Dr Max Muenke, a brain specialist at the National Human Genome Research Institute.
"If something happens very slowly over quite some time, maybe over decades, the different parts of the brain take up functions that would normally be done by the part that is pushed to the side."
www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2425014.html?menu=news.quirkies
(Fri 27th Jul 2007, 10:51, More)
council workers don't need a brain
OK, it's not my story but I thought it was appropriate.
It has just been proven that you only need half a brain to work as a civil servant. Literally.
A man with an unusually tiny brain managed to live an entirely normal life as a civil servant.
Scans of the 44-year-old man's brain showed a huge fluid-filled chamber took up most of his skull.
French researchers say it left room for little more than a thin sheet of actual brain tissue.
"He was a married father of two children, and worked as a civil servant," Dr Lionel Feuillet of the Universite de la Mediterranee in Marseille wrote in a letter to the Lancet medical journal.
The man went to a hospital after he had mild weakness in his left leg.
When Dr Feuillet's staff took his medical history, they learned he had had a shunt inserted into his head to drain away water on the brain as an infant.
The researchers were astonished when scans showed a "massive enlargement" of the lateral ventricles - usually tiny chambers that hold the fluid that cushions the brain.
Intelligence tests showed the man had an IQ of 75, below the average score of 100 but not considered mentally retarded or disabled, either.
"What I find amazing to this day is how the brain can deal with something which you think should not be compatible with life," said Dr Max Muenke, a brain specialist at the National Human Genome Research Institute.
"If something happens very slowly over quite some time, maybe over decades, the different parts of the brain take up functions that would normally be done by the part that is pushed to the side."
www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2425014.html?menu=news.quirkies
(Fri 27th Jul 2007, 10:51, More)