» I met a weirdo on the interweb

freeky sh*t
i dont use msn messenger a lot so i was quite surprised when somebody butts in with those pop-up things asking me to speak with them so i do that, reluctantly leving my game i was playing, (funky truck 4WD).
so i start talking to this weirdo and he says that he is somewhere near las vegas in a small hut looking out with hi-powered binoculars into area 51.
to fuck with that, but then some thing ultra frickin' weird happens; he says translate this, and gives me a bunch of letters, then he promptly logs out.
ok(!)
so then i think to hell with it and translate it.
turns out it was a phone no. cant remember it now but when i phoned it up it started crackling, it wasn't your ordinary annoying white-noise crackle, it was like a pattern, this was very weird, indeed.
decided not to follow it up any more, and i started playing my game again :-)
(Sun 19th Mar 2006, 18:40, More)

» Random Acts of Kindness

Despite leading a very interesting life.
Last year I spent my free time in Manchester as an 'enabler' for people to be recipient of Mary jane. Y'know, The not-so-legal yet not readily enforced herb.

I was a drug dealer. For a bit the entire halls I lived in. This is the short story of how I became this role and how I'm forever indebted to a certain person.

When I first moved in I met a girl, S, who lived in the flat above me, she was also the first drug user/dealer I ever met aside from my dad. We became good friends, probably because I didn't buy anything off her, having despised the wretched herb for making my dad into someone I dislike very much. I said that if I knew anyone that needed any green I would tell her.
She also persuaded me one day to have my first toke, which promptly whitey'd me out, leaving me further wondering how the hell anyone could like it, and why the hell S seemed so fond of it.

Over the course of a term I also met a guy who was heavily addicted to mephedrone who once introduced me to his dealers, who came round mine incidentally had no green and were looking for a decent source. I said I knew someone who did and not knowing it was customary to just give her number to them, gave me £20 for an eighth, I popped up to S and buying it off her, gave it to him. Even though I knew nothing about what makes quality green, they said it was some of the best they'd tried, and promptly gave me enough money for an ounce. Which I promptly gave S to give to them.
I'll spare you the details but somehow I became the 'go to' guy for my friends to buy weed off, it ballooned from there really, nobody was selling apart from S. I liked very much that I was meeting new people who wanted to be my friend. S liked me because through me she managed to get most of her customers. It became a point where I offered to do the deliveries for her after she got a new batch from her cousin, seeing as I am a fairly tall bloke, and she, well, lazy and a woman.
I started to get depressed because I realised that practically everyone I knew, just wanted me to provide them with weed, no-one was my bloody friend, they just came to me when it suited them.
But I'd found it, a nice way of making a bit of cash on the side, supplementing my student loan, me of all people! A dealer! How lucky was I?!?

This led me to 'experiment' with my stash, because after reading the substantial material online regarding it I thought I'd have a better experience. So I rolled one up, following advice on a video, and took a drag. Found the effects rather pleasant this time.
I then became my best customer.
My marks slipped, my lectures went by, slept through. My room rapidly turned into a tip. I turned into my dad. Started accepting offers of blazing up, usually free from the bag I'd just sold them. It was funny, just never fun. The guy I knew who was addicted to mcat, led me to try lots of drugs. Ketamine, mephedrone, ecstasy, speed. I liked the altered state these highs got you.

It all came to a head when I walked into one of my friends room, not having seen him for 3 weeks after selling him 1/2 oz. A wall of B/O, and small fruit flies hit me, there was a layer of fast food wrappers on the floor, heaving piles of rancid laundry that smelt like they had been washed in bong water, bottles of piss, mouldy beer and opened cola bottles filled with flies.

He lay there with his laptop in his lap, a nearby bucket which had been been disgraced from some previous night out where the need to speak welsh had overcome him. This was the weed doing this to him, even though I knew from earlier on in the year he was a lazy bastard, he was still a great guy to chill with before I got into selling. It was all my fault. He'd failed his course. He hadn't tried weed before coming to uni.

He asked me if I'd give him some as a gift, since he had no money left. So I gave him an eighth. Then randomly axed him to death to put him out of his misery from being in a pun. You could call it a random axe of kindness.

Length.
(Wed 15th Feb 2012, 6:04, More)

» First World Problems

As a child I once ran out of sugar.
I felt bad because the tramp children who lived in the tip would like their cups of tea sweet, who always looked out for my teabags, would go away disappointed that they found another tasteless unsweetened teabag.
Later realised that this didn't really count as generosity.
(Thu 1st Mar 2012, 12:30, More)

» Gyms

Gyms are great
Oh how you all laugh at people driving to the gym to workout, you ridicule anybody with large muscles in the gym and brand them 'steroid freaks' with great mirth as you all regale each other with tales of humorous woe.

It's strange, but gym is where fat people are accepted. After all why are they there in the first place? if not to lose weight and look good.

Of course you are going to meet/see some oddballs, weirdos and sometimes pricks, be forced to listen to the awful gym music and unexpedtedly see somebody naked (thats a given). But this all just adds to the experience of gym and after a few weeks, it will catch on.



Length.
(Mon 13th Jul 2009, 1:19, More)

» Lies that went on too long

A sexual misadventure.
I told Dave that I shagged his Mum. He thinks I was joking, but I TOTALLY DID
(Mon 12th Mar 2012, 18:27, More)