b3ta.com user Major Turd
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» Morning After Souvenirs

At uni we had a game
We'd get shitfaced and go into town in groups of two, and search for treasure that the people of Preston has discarded. Whichever group comes back with the most interesting item wins.

The most memorable find was an apparent new pair of jeans that one group found, still in the bag with the receipt. It later transpired that the previous owner had shat himself, bought new jeans, put the shitty ones in the bag and dumped them.
(Fri 27th Apr 2012, 22:08, More)

» Films Recommendations

(Fri 22nd May 2015, 0:58, More)

» * PFFT *

On holiday in Greece,
I sat down to relax on the balcony one hot evening. After a week of vegetables huge steaks, my farts were TECTONIC, not to mention whiffy. I sat back with my headphones in, and in thinking nobody was around, I let rip the loudest, longest fart I had done in a good while. I was proud for a second and did a little giggle. My pride turned to shear shame and embarrassment at I turned round to see a couple of pensioners quietly reading, their faces had expressions which I couldn't describe. I promptly ran inside in my embarrassment. Those pensioners must have thought I'd shit myself or something.
(Fri 13th Jul 2007, 18:32, More)

» Shit Claims to Fame II

I could see the back of my house in a National Lottery advert earlier this year, for about three seconds

(Tue 25th Sep 2012, 16:29, More)

» Creepy!

Back when I was at primary school
There was an abandoned abbatoir right next to our playground. It was an old, square grey building, with just a fence separating it and the playground. You could see right into it too, there were huge hooks hanging from chains, red paint spattered on the walls, and a huge freezer where all the meat was kept. Could you think of a worse place to build a bloody school?!

It makes me all shuddery to think if it.
(Tue 12th Apr 2011, 2:27, More)
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