b3ta.com user quotha
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» Debt pron

debt advice
Hi gang, just to let you know I work for the Official Receiver and can provide free and confidential advice.

Don't overspend you numptys!
(Fri 24th Nov 2006, 23:13, More)

» Personal Hygiene

Not strictly a smelly story but...
One evening recently my girfriend and I were stood waiting outside an underground station in the fine city of Bucharest in Romania. Lurking, or perhaps I should say operating, just outside the station were a family of Romany gypsies. There were about 10 of them in all, mostly youngsters and a controlling matriarch. She stayed inside the station where it was warmer whilst the kids were directing each other around on advanced begging manouvers (that included whistling to each other when a cop car passed by!). Anyway, after a while we noticed the matriarch stumble up out of the station and waddle over to some trees about 30ft from the entrance. She proceeded to hoist up her dress, squat, slash, drop her dress then waddle back into the station. It was dark and some shadow was afforded, however, we could see it all without any effort. How sumptuously charming!
(Tue 27th Mar 2007, 2:06, More)

» Unexpected Good Fortune

another one! even better...
I entered a Manchester newspaper competition last year, organised by Duvel beer. The prize was a big Duvel beer glass and a bottle of beer in a celebratory canister. I answered the question, filled in the slip, posted it (second class of course), and thought no more about it.

I won! Hooray!

Then, a month or two later...I won again! Hooray again! They even apologised for forgetting to send me my prize the first time.

Heh heh, I won't tell them if you won't.
(Sun 17th Sep 2006, 13:09, More)

» Unexpected Good Fortune

random fortune
My dad and younger brother were wandering around a supermarket in the early 1990's and happened upon their GP, an obviously muslim man by the name of Dr Shah (I am confident that doesn't narrow things down!). They proceeded to chat, my father and Dr Shah. Upon learning that it was my younger brother's birthday that day, he instantly produced a £20 note (back when £20 actually bought you a lot) and handed it to my brother.

I'll always remember him as the man who cured me of my "dirty wirus!" when I had stomach pains for several days.

A good news story about muslims at least. I think he is in Pakistan now, handing out £20 notes to the jihadis.

By me.
(Sun 17th Sep 2006, 11:57, More)

» Accidental innuendo

Once, when travelling with pater and my brother in the car I happened to yell back at him from the passenger seat, "Hey, can you get me a particular tape out of my bag?", to which pater said, "I'm not listening to your music."

My ripost, quite unintentionally, was "I don't want to force it on anyone I just want to get it out."

True anecdote, promise.
(Tue 17th Jun 2008, 21:05, More)
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