b3ta.com user sharna-banana
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» Crap meals out

Dammm you france!
I was on the school art trip to the south of France when I was 14. Now this trip was one of those £500 things, which for 4 days in France seemed a little pricey. I don't know maybe it was the fact that I was 14, and the most money I had seen was £45.

Anyho...we got there after a day in the coach and its about 8pm. So they rush us in for dinner in the Hotel restaurant, all pre arranged and I supose intended to keep us from eating the vending machine whole after all we had eaten was our packed lunches.

We sit down. Starving. This french greasy guy who looked more like a gurning champ than a waiter waltzes over and informs us its chicken on the menu. Like we care, we just want to eat. We are a bunch of cocky 14 year olds....JUST FEED US!

We spoke too soon over come the plates. With a small side salad that resembled the nettles we had trodden on outside, chips that were barely warm and the odd one frozen on the inside. But the brigtest star on the menu a nicely browned piece of chicken...mmmmm there is hope until we cut it open. Its not just pink. It hasnt just got a twinge of colour. No. Blood comes pouring out of this chicken. BLOOD! So we all make a horrific english teenage fuss. Teachers complain but we are promised a good dessert. Ahhh Happy Day. So they bring over the tubs of ice cream one look at the name and all I want to do is cry......the ice cream was called 'cock whip' COCK WHIP!!
(Sat 29th Apr 2006, 0:19, More)

» School Sports Day

My Finest Sports Related hour
Picture the scene....

It's PE time again for the year 9's. The Boys are running about like retards playing football. The odd one cheering as the girls are marched down the field in our tight hot pants style PE shorts. We are to play rounders.

Now what nobody had realised was that one particular popular bitch was in the storage room with one not so popular, but he was doing her homework and didnt look that bad, guy.

So we all line up, my team is bating first. Which sucks becasue fielders get to sit about and bathe in the sun. I go up to bat with this metal bat thing, and if I am going to do something I am going to put all of my effort into it. I grab the bat and *swing*. Anyway I hit the ball just beyond the furthest fielder and it smahses through the store cupboard window.

Lets just say after being caught by the entire Year half naked with the science geek, she wasn't so popular anymore
(Sat 1st Apr 2006, 12:44, More)