» Heckles

Penis Puppet
I was new in town and was asked out on a 'ladies night' by the women from my local pub. This involved getting as shitfaced as humanly possible and then going to see a show. I should have declined the invitation after the horror of the last night out, several bottles of cheap white wine and once everyone was suitably drunk and argumentative we all crowded into a circus tent to watch 'The Lady Boys of Bangkok' I pitied those poor boys, but their smiles never faltered. Anyway, maybe I went along because in some small way those women made me feel smug and superior, I was hanging out with real Jeremy Kyle guests! So I agreed to go along to watch 'Puppetry of the Penis' where two guys stand naked, tell jokes and bend their willies into hamburgers, skyscrapers, garden gnomes etc The theatre was packed out, the drunkest two women had smuggled a bottle of vodka in and were totally shedded. The show started and all was well for the first 15 minutes or so. Then the oldest hardest drunkest women decided to take offence at the whole concept of the show, although the whole thing was her idea. 'Get yer kit off now!' she yelled at the top of her voice, These men were standing there starkers, ' My Len's gotta bigger cock than that!' She repeated this over and over at the top of her voice as I slid further and further down into my seat. The people in front turned round and told her to shut up. Big Mistake, huge. This woman got up and started shouting and screaming but nobody did a thing. The penis boys kept on bending and stretching away and the rest of the audience stared resolutely ahead. I'd had more than enough and decided to leave. As I got up and walked away she yelled ,' Hey, where you going? Oi, everyone, look, look, she's going for a piss' The next day I got the local paper and she'd made the front page, 'Drunken heckler ruins night out' Haven't been out with them since, although strangely I miss them.
(Mon 10th Apr 2006, 21:16, More)