» Never Meet Your Heroes

Alex Turner
(wanted to post this for the Heckling QOTW, but didn't register in time)
I saw popular beat combo Arctic Monkeys at Cardiff Barfly in June 2005. Great gig, I was up the front the whole time, and, seeing as I was high on adrenaline and wanted to make an impression, I shouted the following at Alex Turner in between songs:

"You've got lovely eyes!"

he said "What?"

so I said

"You've got LOVELY EYES!!!"

at which point he turned away, a look of genuine fear in his eyes, and didn't look in my direction for the rest of the show. I hope he remembers me

incidentally, I'm a bloke, and straight. But I probably still would
(Mon 29th May 2006, 16:03, More)

» Accidental animal cruelty

An actual story now
I grew up with two cats - males from the same litter, born around the same time I was. One was a little grey one called Splott (not, surprisingly, after the area of Cardiff, but after the noise two pounds of wet cement makes landing on a pavement, this being what he looked like as a kitten... I digress) and a big ginger called Orlando (from the children's books). When I was about eight, I was going through a phase of listening to compilation tapes of rather camp 60s pop, and one night I was in bed, sleepy, and listening to one of the above. Unfortunately, Orlando had found his way into my room, and wouldn't stop nuzzling me when I was trying to sleep. I kept pushing him away, but he was persistent, so I ended up throwing him forcefully to the other end of the bed. Emotional karma was, however, instant... at the exact moment my poor adoptive feline brother stared back at me from the end of the bed, his big green eyes full of hurt and mournful reproach, Cilla Black sang the following accompaniment into my callous young ears:

{stirring strings, anguished scouse warble}

"Anyone who had a heart would take me in his arms, and love me TOO!"

I'd never felt so guilty in my life. Thankyou, our Cilla, for teaching me the error of my evil, cat-throwing ways.

P.S. Orlando passed away at the age of 14, and Splott went a few months afterwards - they were the best cats ever, and are still sorely missed over six years later.
(Mon 10th Dec 2007, 10:20, More)

» Political Correctness Gone Mad

rhyswynne
Rwy'n cytuno, mae siarad Cymraeg yn yr unfed ganrif ar hugain fel trwydded argraffu arian. Mae gen i swydd rhan-amser gyda'r Comisiwn Cydraddoldeb a Hawliau Dynol i lwytho cyfieithiad o'r wefan i'r rhyngrwyd - does ddim hyd yn oed angen i fi 'neud unrhyw cyfieithiad, dim ond sicrhau fod y testun yn cyfateb i'r fersiwn Saesneg. Cymru am byth!

PS Rwy'n flin am y dodgy treiglo, wedi bod allan o'r ysgol am sawl flynyddoedd, felly dim digon o ymarfer. O ddiddordeb, ble wyt ti'n fyw?
(Tue 27th Nov 2007, 13:17, More)

» Accidental animal cruelty

um...
accidentally?

*looks shiftily from side to side*
(Mon 10th Dec 2007, 9:54, More)

» Political Correctness Gone Mad

for you poor monolingualists
I did some work for the Equal Opportunities Commission (now part of the Equality and Human Rights Commission) earlier this year, in the Cardiff office. Despite only being a lowly part-time temp, I was invited to take part in an afternoon's race awareness training. Now, I'm really not one of these "it's political correctness gone mad" people, and the training was really interesting, but I'm going to ask you to hazard a guess at how many ethnic minority members of staff this office of about 20 people had...

Got it in one. So the elephant in the room that day was that the only non-white person present was, erm, the trainer; mildly galling, especially in such a diverse city as ours.

Mind you, I'm not complaining about their hypocritical employment practices, it got me a job - I only got work there because my mum knows the boss.

*shuffles feet*

Sweet Dreams,
(Tue 27th Nov 2007, 13:25, More)