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- a member for 18 years, 8 months and 10 days
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- has posted 3 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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» Heckles
Not a heckle... more a gesture
Let me paint a picture into your mind (bear with me, it's going somewhere). I'm overweight. Now I'm not obese but overweight. Unfortunately all the weight is on my belly so I look about six months pregnant.
Anyway, I'm walking down the road eating a kebab when some girlies (those horrid 18 year olds who think they are funny) walked past and shouted, "Oi, giz a chip?"
I looked at them and said, "It's not a bag of chips, it's a kebab."
"Fat bastard," came the reply.
As they walked down the road I carefully placed my kebab on the floor, lifted up my shirt and shouted, "Oi". As they turned around I proceeded to wiggle my extra couple of stone of gut fat in their direction. They ran off, possibly crying.
Needless to say, any remains of heterosexuality in their minds was ripped out and vomited on the floor.
(Tue 11th Apr 2006, 18:09, More)
Not a heckle... more a gesture
Let me paint a picture into your mind (bear with me, it's going somewhere). I'm overweight. Now I'm not obese but overweight. Unfortunately all the weight is on my belly so I look about six months pregnant.
Anyway, I'm walking down the road eating a kebab when some girlies (those horrid 18 year olds who think they are funny) walked past and shouted, "Oi, giz a chip?"
I looked at them and said, "It's not a bag of chips, it's a kebab."
"Fat bastard," came the reply.
As they walked down the road I carefully placed my kebab on the floor, lifted up my shirt and shouted, "Oi". As they turned around I proceeded to wiggle my extra couple of stone of gut fat in their direction. They ran off, possibly crying.
Needless to say, any remains of heterosexuality in their minds was ripped out and vomited on the floor.
(Tue 11th Apr 2006, 18:09, More)
» Heckles
Football
I was once at a football match. It was one of these semi-professional (they get about £5 per game) teams and the score was something along the lines of 14 - 0.
As the 15th goal hit the net the dejected goalkeeper collected the ball at which point a fan shouted, "Don't put your head in your hands goalie. You'll drop it."
(Tue 11th Apr 2006, 14:44, More)
Football
I was once at a football match. It was one of these semi-professional (they get about £5 per game) teams and the score was something along the lines of 14 - 0.
As the 15th goal hit the net the dejected goalkeeper collected the ball at which point a fan shouted, "Don't put your head in your hands goalie. You'll drop it."
(Tue 11th Apr 2006, 14:44, More)
» Teenage Parties
Smell me fingers
During those care free days of college a few students ended up in a bar in Birmingham for someone's birthday party. However, the main room quickly emptied and everyone could be found in the women's toilets listening to James and Vicky playing sticky finger.
The room went into uproar when Vicky quietly and with her best sexy voice said, "James, make love to me." To which James replied, "No." Why he would stick his fingers up her twunt and not his cock I don't know. But he left Vicky in the cubicle and came out into the toilet and shouted, "SMELL ME FINGERS".
Scampi and Lemon flavour Nik Naks if you're interested.
(Fri 14th Apr 2006, 10:04, More)
Smell me fingers
During those care free days of college a few students ended up in a bar in Birmingham for someone's birthday party. However, the main room quickly emptied and everyone could be found in the women's toilets listening to James and Vicky playing sticky finger.
The room went into uproar when Vicky quietly and with her best sexy voice said, "James, make love to me." To which James replied, "No." Why he would stick his fingers up her twunt and not his cock I don't know. But he left Vicky in the cubicle and came out into the toilet and shouted, "SMELL ME FINGERS".
Scampi and Lemon flavour Nik Naks if you're interested.
(Fri 14th Apr 2006, 10:04, More)