» Stalked

Freaky sexy girl
First QOTW.

So, there was this girl I worked with. When I started the job she was under the impression that I would be her assistant, because that's what she'd been told would happen by the bosses. In fact the opposite was true and I was the one that had to tell her this. Because of this I always felt a bit guilty and that I sort of owed her something.

She was 17, I was about 25. She was stunning and exactly my type. I'm a lanky geek. She flirted outrageously with everyone she could, and I wasn't intimidated by this and enjoyed giving as good as I got.

2 years or so later she was sacked for trying to start some kind of glamour model / porn agency online. Well, actually she was sacked for trying to start some kind of glamour model / porn agency online, using her work email, and printing out emails and leaving them on her desk.

Then she showed up and asked to borrow about £400 from me one day. I lent it to her - I would have done the same for any of my friends (although it's unlikely any of them would ask unless it was life-or-death).

Then she disappeared.

That's the backstory. One day a few years later she shows up at my flat, apologises for the money and everything, makes all the right sounds, and tells me that she's always fancied me and thinks I'm great. Much better than all the fella's she's had that have treated her badly. Ok says I (alarms were quietly ringing but she really was stunning, and about 24 by now), we'll go on a date or something. After this it went, over the next days, weeks and months :

Her : I've gone off you.
Me : Ok.

Her : I have no where to live, can I move in with you?
Me : For a week or two ok.

Her : I love you.
Me : Calm down.

Me : You'll have to leave you have a boyfriend with a flat why are you still here?
Her : Um I take your point.

Her : I love you.
Me : Ok chill out.

Her : I've taken lots of pills.
Me : Ok the hospital is just over the road lets go now.

Me : Where is my cash I left here?
Her : Are you accusing me of stealing?!

Her : Tharg has not given me any keys because he always likes to know where I am and have a bit of control over me.
My friends, who have known me for 10+ years and her for 2 weeks : Um ... okaaaayy...

Her : Tharg loves me ever since I said I fancied him 6 months ago [yes she was still there] and I feel a bit sorry for him.
My friends, who have known me for 10+ years and her for 2 weeks : Riiight.

Her : I love you.
Me : .....?!

Me : Ok I have had enough of not knowing what is happening in my flat. You don't even sleep there for the last 2 weeks why are you coming and going while I'm at work? I've changed the locks. Let me know when you want to pick up your stuff.
Her [on the phone to me in a pub with her new bloke] : YOU FUCKING CUNT WHY WON'T YOU GIVE ME MY STUFF BACK.

Yeah ok not really stalking but kind of.

What's that saying? "Sane, available and attractive. Pick two out of the three." Definately seems to be true for me.

Even in this cut down, flaccid version - apologies for length are appropriate.
(Thu 31st Jan 2008, 19:05, More)