» Other people's diaries

Sordid entry
I had a flat mate who basically kept a "sex diary" but occassionally punctuated the pron mag fantasies with the odd pithy observation about the rest of us, in the flat.

He stupidly made reference to it on a night out, pissed in the pub. We hunted it down the very next opportunity we got.

He described me as follows....
"I would call him an know it all, but unfortunately he does"

I was proud as feck about that.
(Thu 1st Feb 2007, 20:07, More)

» Strict Parents

My Mum's a looper
Whilst at primary school, I was never allowed to go on a school trip which would involve water.

I had to make the "long" walk to school, filled with feelings of dread and embarrasment, with the letter from mum, stating that I could not go on a boat trip as "Young moondust would jump over the side and drown"

Then the following year there was a trip to the local hydro-electric dam. Obviously, my fictious and apparantly fatal facination for leaping into water was brought to the fore and yet again I had to suffer the jibes from my school mates, but this time the teacher read out the letter from my mum aloud to the class.

Mum denies she ever said any thing of the sort.
(Fri 9th Mar 2007, 10:05, More)

» I hurt my rude bits

Ah lube!
Decided once, in a rare moment of intimacy with now Ex Mrs Moondust, to use a bit of baby oil. Except we had run out, so I used Oilatum Extra Strong.

This is a particularly oily substance for pouring into baths, JUST A CAP FULL mind, to help reduce the effects of Psorisis or other flakey skin conditions. To which is does give dire warnings about "no undiluted use".

What a HANDFUL does to your knob is strip the skin off and leaves it feeling like you have had bleach poured on it, and your bawsack glow in the dark for days.
(Fri 21st Jul 2006, 9:57, More)

» Awesome Sickies

Use one lie, get one free
Having a crap time at work, which was marginally better than stoking the oven in a death camp.
I decided to pull a sicky, after a mate said I looked like shit. I DID actually go to the Doc and he said I had slightly high blood pressure.

I took 2 weeks off.

Then realised I then had to produce a sick note. So I had to go back to the doc [after swotting up the symptoms of severe hypertension] and blag the line. I just scraped through, and even now I bump into him in the street and he gives me dirty looks.

Work didnt give a feck.
(Fri 9th Jun 2006, 9:50, More)

» Housemates from hell

Housemate
I married her and now we are divorced but not before she took my kids, my money, and self respect.

At least I am now having sex more than once an eon.
(Mon 9th Apr 2007, 16:19, More)