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- a member for 18 years, 0 months and 2 days
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» Missing body parts
Things your mother never told you
A friend of mine, upon losing her virginity lost about 2 pints of blood as well. She was expecting a little bit but when the towel she was using to stem to flow became sodden she thought that maybe this wasn't a textbook first shag after all. She also didn't need a textbook to know that her boyfriend's dick wasn't that big but it did rupture a great big vein that wouldn't clot and had to have it stitched. Who'd of thought?
So, when I have to tell my daughter about the facts of life this story will be a feature point. Best go and make that convent booking right now!
(Fri 2nd Jun 2006, 6:44, More)
Things your mother never told you
A friend of mine, upon losing her virginity lost about 2 pints of blood as well. She was expecting a little bit but when the towel she was using to stem to flow became sodden she thought that maybe this wasn't a textbook first shag after all. She also didn't need a textbook to know that her boyfriend's dick wasn't that big but it did rupture a great big vein that wouldn't clot and had to have it stitched. Who'd of thought?
So, when I have to tell my daughter about the facts of life this story will be a feature point. Best go and make that convent booking right now!
(Fri 2nd Jun 2006, 6:44, More)
» Missing body parts
Mock your children - it's character building
Catch and kiss was always a popular school sport as young'uns. One time I ran screaming into the girl's toilets after being hotly pursued by some gormless freak and decided that I actually did need to go. So, as I was walking into the cubicle I slipped and smashed my face on the toilet bowl making a perfect mousehole in my two front teeth. Tre hillbilly. Blood pouring down my face, I get taken to the dentist with the old bits of tooth clutched in my hand my friends had fished out of the toilet (I was 8 - germs shmerms) The worst bit was for years after whenever I told the dramatic story my Dad would say, 'Well, that's what she says but she was actually sniffing dunny bowls'. Thanks, Dad.
(Fri 2nd Jun 2006, 2:30, More)
Mock your children - it's character building
Catch and kiss was always a popular school sport as young'uns. One time I ran screaming into the girl's toilets after being hotly pursued by some gormless freak and decided that I actually did need to go. So, as I was walking into the cubicle I slipped and smashed my face on the toilet bowl making a perfect mousehole in my two front teeth. Tre hillbilly. Blood pouring down my face, I get taken to the dentist with the old bits of tooth clutched in my hand my friends had fished out of the toilet (I was 8 - germs shmerms) The worst bit was for years after whenever I told the dramatic story my Dad would say, 'Well, that's what she says but she was actually sniffing dunny bowls'. Thanks, Dad.
(Fri 2nd Jun 2006, 2:30, More)
» Missing body parts
An eye-watererer
A friend managed to slip with his v-shaped lino cutter (as in arty printing, not floors) and shoot it right up his nostril as far as it would go, missing both sides on the way up. Amazing. Admittedly a big chunk of inside nose dropped out during the bleeding-like-a-stuck-pig fest but how's that for a perfect shot?
(Tue 6th Jun 2006, 4:30, More)
An eye-watererer
A friend managed to slip with his v-shaped lino cutter (as in arty printing, not floors) and shoot it right up his nostril as far as it would go, missing both sides on the way up. Amazing. Admittedly a big chunk of inside nose dropped out during the bleeding-like-a-stuck-pig fest but how's that for a perfect shot?
(Tue 6th Jun 2006, 4:30, More)
» Never Meet Your Heroes
Not a dissapointment until the very end
I met Paul Hester, the drummer, from Crowded House shortly before they hit it big in the US. He was the loveliest, most laidback man and seemed a bit surprised anyone would recognise him or approach him. So having that memory, it was a nasty disappointment when he hung himself a little while ago. Who'd of thought?
(Fri 26th May 2006, 6:31, More)
Not a dissapointment until the very end
I met Paul Hester, the drummer, from Crowded House shortly before they hit it big in the US. He was the loveliest, most laidback man and seemed a bit surprised anyone would recognise him or approach him. So having that memory, it was a nasty disappointment when he hung himself a little while ago. Who'd of thought?
(Fri 26th May 2006, 6:31, More)