Profile for phys!:
Unfulfilled theoretical physicist.
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- a member for 18 years, 0 months and 2 days
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Unfulfilled theoretical physicist.
Recent front page messages:
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Best answers to questions:
» Ignoring Instructions
playing with knives
In 1988, being a shy and sensitive six-year-old, my grandfather decided it was about time I receive my first pocket-knife. Handing me a blade that, in my little hands, seemed to be the size of a machete, he instructed me to "go and play outside". My mother was horrified and promptly confiscated my new toy and placed in her handbag, stating that I was far to young to own a flick-knife.
Later that day I stole back my knife and went outside to wave it at my friends. I managed to cut my neighbour's arm, along with my own face, the scar of which I still have today. I qickly put the knife back from where I had nicked it and tearfully told my mother that I had been attacked by a cat.
Mother always knows best.
Some sixteen years later I dipped the glans of my penis into a jar of mustard in a local gastropub. The label contained no warning regarding the pain, swelling and immediate ejection from the establishment that promptly followed this action. A severe case of corporate neglect.
(Thu 4th May 2006, 15:52, More)
playing with knives
In 1988, being a shy and sensitive six-year-old, my grandfather decided it was about time I receive my first pocket-knife. Handing me a blade that, in my little hands, seemed to be the size of a machete, he instructed me to "go and play outside". My mother was horrified and promptly confiscated my new toy and placed in her handbag, stating that I was far to young to own a flick-knife.
Later that day I stole back my knife and went outside to wave it at my friends. I managed to cut my neighbour's arm, along with my own face, the scar of which I still have today. I qickly put the knife back from where I had nicked it and tearfully told my mother that I had been attacked by a cat.
Mother always knows best.
Some sixteen years later I dipped the glans of my penis into a jar of mustard in a local gastropub. The label contained no warning regarding the pain, swelling and immediate ejection from the establishment that promptly followed this action. A severe case of corporate neglect.
(Thu 4th May 2006, 15:52, More)
» Never Meet Your Heroes
timmy mallet
As student I naturally had a rather pretentiouis love of all things nostalgic, from my Optimus Prime t-shirt to my Columbo DVD box-set.
It was for this reason that I attended a club night known as "The Big One" on the night that Timmy Mallet was making an appearance on stage.
He jumped around for a bit and then asked for two volunteers to play "Mallets Mallet", promptly picking two pissed-up, fat-titted slappers. He then proceeded to flirt with both women before placing a badge on each of their doughy, overfed breasts.
Afterwards, he offered to hit everyone in the club over the head with his soft mallet. I promptly stood in line, waiting to meet the man. As i came up to his seat he asked me to kneel before him.
"I'm not kneeling for you, just hit me with the mallet."
"If you don't kneel before me I won't hit you."
He then had two security men escort me from the stage.
bastard!
(Fri 26th May 2006, 12:34, More)
timmy mallet
As student I naturally had a rather pretentiouis love of all things nostalgic, from my Optimus Prime t-shirt to my Columbo DVD box-set.
It was for this reason that I attended a club night known as "The Big One" on the night that Timmy Mallet was making an appearance on stage.
He jumped around for a bit and then asked for two volunteers to play "Mallets Mallet", promptly picking two pissed-up, fat-titted slappers. He then proceeded to flirt with both women before placing a badge on each of their doughy, overfed breasts.
Afterwards, he offered to hit everyone in the club over the head with his soft mallet. I promptly stood in line, waiting to meet the man. As i came up to his seat he asked me to kneel before him.
"I'm not kneeling for you, just hit me with the mallet."
"If you don't kneel before me I won't hit you."
He then had two security men escort me from the stage.
bastard!
(Fri 26th May 2006, 12:34, More)
» My Collection
I collect skulls. . . .
When i was little my dad found a perfectly clean and sun-bleach bird's skull in his garage. He gave it to me and it was my pride and joy, until I put it in my back pocket and sat on it.
Now that I am twenty-something I have started collecting skulls again. I've only just started and only have a few birds skulls, but I'm hoping to aquire a badger skull off of a biologist friend. I'm not keen on collecting anything I find in the wild as i don't wish to contract TB.
I think i would draw the line at human remains as that would be disrespectfull.
(Fri 12th Jan 2007, 15:44, More)
I collect skulls. . . .
When i was little my dad found a perfectly clean and sun-bleach bird's skull in his garage. He gave it to me and it was my pride and joy, until I put it in my back pocket and sat on it.
Now that I am twenty-something I have started collecting skulls again. I've only just started and only have a few birds skulls, but I'm hoping to aquire a badger skull off of a biologist friend. I'm not keen on collecting anything I find in the wild as i don't wish to contract TB.
I think i would draw the line at human remains as that would be disrespectfull.
(Fri 12th Jan 2007, 15:44, More)