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» Crap meals out

story number two which is actually on topic
Most horrifically insulting meal out I've had has to be courtesy of the Hilton Docklands, one of London's premium hotels where I was staying for a work conference. Wine £4.50 for a small glass, rooms outrageously priced for being distinctly average - your usual Hilton. We had a company dinner there one night and the meat which came for the standard option was completely unidentifiable - nobody could work out whether it was lamb, beef or catfood. Whatever it was, it tasted foul. The vegetarian option was a filo pastry concoction and when my colleague cut into hers she found the filling encased in a plastic bag. Still, as long as Paris and Nicky are kept in shoes and handbags, eh...
(Wed 3rd May 2006, 20:34, More)

» DIY fashion

Just one outfit for you - say no more
Circa 1983, school disco

Bright red batwing jumper-dress

Black ultra wide belt over dress

White leggings with black leopard print

Black trilby hat

Ginormous Sue Pollard style multi-coloured glasses

(Sun 27th Aug 2006, 20:36, More)

» Crap meals out

have you ever been to a Harvester.. well don't
This is not a meal I've had inflicted on me so apologies but I have witnessed many potential poisonings courtesy of said establishment in which I used to work a few years ago (in a very dodgy part of Reading). Firstly they would employ any tramp off the street as a chef and the chefs' standard cooking method would be to take the chicken/steak etc straight out of the freezer and whack it on the hot grill until it was cooked on the outside. Cue many meals sent back gushing with blood. I sadly saw one of the chefs I had worked with a few years later begging in Camden. Secondly being an equal opportunities employer they hired a guy with Special Needs whose sole job was to wash the salad. Needless to say he didn't do it very well so the salad bar would be regularly crawling with bugs. Thirdly they only changed the cooking oil for the chips once every month or so so any fried potato products came with a pleasant rancid aftertaste. Lastly they made me wear a uniform which consisted of a canary yellow blouse and a pair of blue floral culottes. Bastards. Apologies for lack of political correctness and length but see it as a public health warning.
(Wed 3rd May 2006, 20:28, More)

» DIY fashion

Hair humiliation
In the 80s, when my mousey hair was cut into a bob with ubiquitous hairsprayed vertical fringe, I thought I would look really cool if I put a blonde streak in my hair.

I proceeded to search my parents' bathroom for inspiration and came up with a tub of my Mum's Jolen cream bleach, designed for lady moustaches. Hey presto and half an hour later I had a bright yellow chunk of hair in my fringe.

However I then crapped my pants as I knew that the wrath of my very straight laced mother would immediately decend on me when she saw my new hairdo. So I immediately took the nail scissors to my hair and chopped off the yellow bit, leaving a massive stump of centimetre long hair at the front of my head.

My Mum dragged me to the hairdressers the next day and made the hairdresser sort it out, cutting off most of the rest of my hair, while Mum loudly explained to the whole salon what I had decided to do to myself. The shame.

Oh and ladies thank you for reminding me about the black woolly tights with white ankle socks (or white knee socks, rolled down into a pleasing tube around the ankle). Why oh why did we do that?
(Sun 27th Aug 2006, 19:52, More)

» Intense Friendships

Makin' your mind up
Well I think when we are very young we all have very intense friendships. And, all you boys who have played around with willies and such (pieeater eg) it's ok, it doesn't mean that you are gay. But I admire all of you who are still friends as adults with those kiddie intense friends. I'm not, I dumped all of them when I moved out of my one-horse dump of a town in the West Mids and moved to the SE.

Anyway, pre-teens I had a very intense best friend relationship. Despite her having short curly brown hair and me long blonde hair we used to try to wear identical clothes (and nag parents to buy us the same stuff) so we could pretend we were twins. ?!. We also used to write songs that we were convinced would eventually conquer the pop charts.

The culmination of this came around the time that Bucks Fizz were in the Eurovision Song Cntest with Making Your Mind Up. Best friend and I learned the dance routine to the finest detail, ending with us simulateously whipping each others' skirts off. Those were the days.

We lost touch at about 14 when she started shagging boys and I was still too speccy and shy to do so.

apeloverage- only one post so far? More more more.
(Sun 30th Jul 2006, 21:59, More)
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