» How nerdy are you?

There are 11 types of people.
Those that still think the '10 types of people' joke are funny, those that are sick of it and those that don't get it.
(Sun 9th Mar 2008, 10:08, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

My old school was too stingy to build new toilets
so they purchased a portable set from another school. There were some fantastically out of context messages on the walls about various teachers and girls they claimed were sluts, but one, albeit weak, piece always made me laugh:

"Led rock" I assumed this was a message about Led Zeppelin, but what I always found funny was the reply: "Actually, lead is a metal."
(Fri 4th May 2007, 11:27, More)

» Why should you be fired from your job?

I work for a relatively small branch of a very large supermarket
which for reasons of anonymity I shall call Coles, as that is its name. I've been working there around two years now, as a 'service assistant' and I have, over this time, developed my own rather personal style for dealing with customers.
Some of my habits include:
- Putting all items requiring a price-check through as carrots. I usually charge $1 regardless of how much it may or may not cost. When I can be sure no one is looking, I generally just give it to them for free.
- Being inventive with change. It can be hard to count out how much a customer is owed, so I often take it upon myself to create an amount I can be sure is greater than that owed, something I've yet to have anyone complain about.
- Never charging anyone for certain cheese. You can buy cheese in packaged form from the dairy case, or by weight from the deli section. For the latter, the price is often not on file and requires a price-check. I have always refused to charge people for this and I'm not going to start doing it soon.
- Creatively bagging groceries. We're supposed to bag items in a way that minimises bag use, but more often than not I just throw things in there.
- 'Accidentally' giving people the wrong number of notes when they get cash out. Usually one 50 to many.
- Not talking to customers. Most of them are not nice and seem to assume they can speak condescendingly to supermarket employees, and because of this the only thing I say to most customers is the price of their groceries.
- I swear to myself more than anyone in a service industry should. Sometimes at customers themselves.

I would like to say, in my defence, that unlike most angsty teenagers, I have never once intentionally stolen from work.
(Tue 14th Aug 2007, 12:58, More)

» Putting the Fun in Funeral

Wake up!
This was at a wake rather then a funeral.
When my grandmother died she made it quite clear that the alcohol budget for her wake was whatever was in her purse at her time of passing. I was quite young at the time but it was quite the party. I was informed at a much later date that the amout of money in question was somewhere in the vicinity of $5000.
(Sat 13th May 2006, 9:52, More)

» The Weird Kid In Class

Hayden
was his name. I was once his friend, maybe even his best. To me he was cool in prep through to about grade four. He taught me about Pokemon and Nintendo.
He was also allergic to everything, or so his mother would have you believe. He never drank milk, ate bread, went outside or spoke at a volume that could be heard more than five feet away.
As the years passed he slowly got stranger and stranger. In grade six the teachers held a "graduation" for the children that were smart enough to be allowed into high school. For this we had to give a short talk on what we wanted to do when we grew up (something that clearly would take a while for him). His speech still amuses me to this day:

"When I grow up I want to open a hospital for sick Yoshis."

I saw him a few weeks back. He doesn't talk to anyone but his mother these days.
(Wed 24th Jan 2007, 5:29, More)