» Accidental innuendo

Far too many to count.
I'm a dentist, which does give a certain degree of latitude in the innuendular department. My favourites all come from little old ladies. The two finest:

1) "Ooh Mr Lenny.. I'm having terrible trouble masturbating with them new teeth you made me.."

I say it was an accidental innuendo. I hope she meant to say masticating. You never know..

2) "Ooh Mr Lenny.. I'm having terrible trouble with my front bottom.."

?? Would madam care to elaborate ??

"Oh yes. This front tooth at the bottom has been terribly painful.."

I don't know who was more relieved; me or her.
(Sat 14th Jun 2008, 22:41, More)

» Where is the strangest place you have slept?

In a dental chair. All night.
My first time, apologies for length, leaving lurk mode, etcetera.. Back in my student days, with a bunch of friends, on the way to a weekend in Durham, traveling from Manchester, we decided to spend the night at the Darlington dental practice owned by the father of one of our number. A fair amount of drink had been taken and much shenanigans ensued, the details of which will be kept for when QOTW covers such delights as Have You Ever Made A Plaster Cast Of Your Cock and Have You Ever Tried To Shotgun A Can Of Lager With Your Entire Mouth Anaethsetized. Anyway. Most of us ended up asleep in various strange places. I spent the night on a rather ancient leather dental chair. Very comfortable it was, too. I should add that I am now a dentist and, most lunchtimes, I enjoy a swift kip in the chair. Every home shold have one.
(Fri 29th Dec 2006, 12:42, More)

» Have you ever seen a dead body?

Medics
As a dental student, I saw more than my fair share of dead people ranging from the specimens in the Morbid Anatomy dissection rooms - think of Gunther Hagens work, but more messy - to the delights of a fresh post-mortem. Which was much more dramatic and rather disturbing. Cadavers for dissection are like preserved waxworks; devoid of bodily fluids and divorced from reality. A fresh corpse is exactly that. A person who obviously has ony recently stopped living and breathing. My most upsetting sight at this time was a stillborn foetus dissected so as to demonstrate the disposition of the spinal nerves. It looked far too much like a little baby asleep and I can still think of it today. What any of this had to do with me spending a career drilling holes in teeth I have yet to determine, but there you go. The most recent dead body I saw was that of my father. Sleep well, Old Man.
(Fri 29th Feb 2008, 20:51, More)