b3ta.com user theresonlyme
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» Awesome Sickies

on his way to work
a friend told me that his co-worker couldnt come in one day as he was driving down the motorway and someone swerved in front of him so he had to brake really hard which consequently caused him to shit himself. i laughed so hard i was crying when i heard this.
my other fave was a guy at b+&, we had to ring up and leave a message explaining why we wouldnt be in. this guy leaves a message something like this "hi its 7.15am on sat and i cant come in today as ive got food poisoning. ok see you tomoz. *beep* message left at 11.50pm friday *beep*"
(Fri 9th Jun 2006, 11:02, More)

» Lies I told on my CV

i cant do flash
put flash on my CV as i had done some at uni but hated it. managed to blag the first interview with some big flashy flash-based company, the guy interviewing me wasnt the boss but some underling who must have gone back to the big boss and said "holy hell! hire that guy!!".
Got an email saying, "we liked your previous interview a lot but for policy-sake we have to have a second one, bring some flash anim based on xxxx. see you on monday pm...".
did no work for this till monday am. Arrived early - big boss. bigger boss and me round a table. showed them what i had done and they looked at me like i had just asked them to shove the table fruit up me. told them i was wasting their time and i should leave, but they had practically chosen me already and had no-one else left to interview. they quite desperately tried to find some post i could fill, but i left rather embarassed.
think flash is still on my CV actually...

no apologies for length - i already warned you, apologies for the cheesy smell tho.
(Thu 6th Jul 2006, 16:41, More)

» Never Meet Your Heroes

working in a hotel
i met loads of celebs back when i worked in a hotel, plus a fair few prats. i sorta crashed into Sven once and accidentally looked up the skirt of some 'so solid crews' woman whilst refilling the minibar, but best was when i was taking a room order up and ate lots of the chips and stuck my finger in the choc suace on the pudding only to then hand it all over to Angus Deayton where i promptly asked for his autograph.
(Tue 30th May 2006, 10:29, More)