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- a member for 18 years, 5 months and 25 days
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- has posted 4 stories and 1 replies on question of the week
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» Guilty Secrets
I made a kid eat a dog egg
When we were about 10 or 11 and my brother was about 12/13 there was an annoying kid who used to live at the end of our road who always used to shout things at us when we were messing about on the field to the rear of our house.
Now this was the kind of kid who was gullible enough to listen to some filthy creatures such as us and we had had enough of the little fucker. So we hatched a plan.
We asked him if he wanted any chocolate, to which of course he said yes, then we found a fresh dog egg and wiped a healthy serving on the end of said stick and marched back up to his house. "shut your eyes and open your gob" shouted my brother, and he did, so in rammed the stick which made him clamp his jaw shut onto it which was swiftly removed with a strong tug leaving its contents stuck to the back of his teeth
His response was "thats not chocolate, its poo-poo!" and we proceeded to run away laughing. My sister still tells his new girlfriends the story when she sees them.
(Sun 2nd Sep 2007, 18:46, More)
I made a kid eat a dog egg
When we were about 10 or 11 and my brother was about 12/13 there was an annoying kid who used to live at the end of our road who always used to shout things at us when we were messing about on the field to the rear of our house.
Now this was the kind of kid who was gullible enough to listen to some filthy creatures such as us and we had had enough of the little fucker. So we hatched a plan.
We asked him if he wanted any chocolate, to which of course he said yes, then we found a fresh dog egg and wiped a healthy serving on the end of said stick and marched back up to his house. "shut your eyes and open your gob" shouted my brother, and he did, so in rammed the stick which made him clamp his jaw shut onto it which was swiftly removed with a strong tug leaving its contents stuck to the back of his teeth
His response was "thats not chocolate, its poo-poo!" and we proceeded to run away laughing. My sister still tells his new girlfriends the story when she sees them.
(Sun 2nd Sep 2007, 18:46, More)
» Annoying words and phrases
Legend
this one has pissed me off for a long time. A bloke who can get a round in is not a legend, someone who can drive real fast is not a legend, someone who can talk about football in a crazy way is NOT A FUCKING LEGEND.
The dictionary reference for legend actually contradicts this usage!!
a nonhistorical or unverifiable story handed down by tradition from earlier times and popularly accepted as historical.
Cunts, the lot of em
(Sat 10th Apr 2010, 17:53, More)
Legend
this one has pissed me off for a long time. A bloke who can get a round in is not a legend, someone who can drive real fast is not a legend, someone who can talk about football in a crazy way is NOT A FUCKING LEGEND.
The dictionary reference for legend actually contradicts this usage!!
a nonhistorical or unverifiable story handed down by tradition from earlier times and popularly accepted as historical.
Cunts, the lot of em
(Sat 10th Apr 2010, 17:53, More)
» The worst sex I ever had
Sorry love
There have been two occasions that stand out in my mind, both with the same girl.
First time was when we were at it as normal, when i hear the door creak open a little bit. I pause, wait for disgusted scream or shutting of door again. Neither came so carried on, just about to reach climax when i feel a cold wet dog nose on my anus. Cue me shrieking with shock and thus going limp and being unable to carry on while she just pisses herself at me :(
Second time was when she was whinging she was fat in the middle of sex and i stupidly said "maybe its cos you are a bit" Caused her to cry and no longer wish to participate in any sexual encounters with me for a week or two.
(Fri 15th Jun 2007, 23:24, More)
Sorry love
There have been two occasions that stand out in my mind, both with the same girl.
First time was when we were at it as normal, when i hear the door creak open a little bit. I pause, wait for disgusted scream or shutting of door again. Neither came so carried on, just about to reach climax when i feel a cold wet dog nose on my anus. Cue me shrieking with shock and thus going limp and being unable to carry on while she just pisses herself at me :(
Second time was when she was whinging she was fat in the middle of sex and i stupidly said "maybe its cos you are a bit" Caused her to cry and no longer wish to participate in any sexual encounters with me for a week or two.
(Fri 15th Jun 2007, 23:24, More)
» The most childish thing you've done as an adult
Fruit fun
If my boss has annoyed me at work, I will wait until he fetches a piece of fruit along with his dinner. When the fruit is there and he leaves it next to his workspace unattended, i do a bit of exercise (star jumps, lunges, a quick jog on the spot etc) and once i have gotten a bit sweaty i proceed to wipe the fruit on my ballsack and anus for him to happily munch on.
I hope they have nice things in Hell...
(Mon 21st Sep 2009, 3:37, More)
Fruit fun
If my boss has annoyed me at work, I will wait until he fetches a piece of fruit along with his dinner. When the fruit is there and he leaves it next to his workspace unattended, i do a bit of exercise (star jumps, lunges, a quick jog on the spot etc) and once i have gotten a bit sweaty i proceed to wipe the fruit on my ballsack and anus for him to happily munch on.
I hope they have nice things in Hell...
(Mon 21st Sep 2009, 3:37, More)