b3ta.com user chronic27
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I continue my never ending search for the perfect toenail clipping.



My first for posterity:
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» Missing body parts

it's true
I lose my fucksocks all the time. They usually turn up down the back of the bed. I wear them so much I consider fucksocks a part of my body.

No length, no girth, just fucksocks.
(Wed 7th Jun 2006, 19:01, More)

» Missing body parts

Rounders anyone?
I de-lurk for the good of humanity (and fluffy tiem).

When I was 9, way back in 1986 when most of England was nowt but fields and free of chavs, we were playing rounders (woo) and as a diligent little fielder with a good eye and strong arm I was always put miles away by the climbing frame.

Inevitably some twunt smacked a shot long past me and I ran for the ball. Having the grace and agility of Peter Bonetti I naturally went for the Dramatic Diving Catch of Greatness*, so as to impress a girl, only dive face first into the climbing frame (not woo).

*Patent applied for.

I lost my front tooth that day, though Baz found it later. I also lost three of the crowns that almost looked like my old tooth in many face related football incidents, but none surpass the original moment of ineptitude.

*insert length here... insert girth there*
(Fri 2nd Jun 2006, 1:25, More)