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Farting too far
My brother,love him to bits is a tad overweight. At the time of this story he was 20-odd stone but built like a brick shithouse from his karate too. Anyway, rather than dieting he managed to get the doctor to give him diet pills. These are the ones where your body won't absorb any fat you eat so you have to have a completely fat free diet. Sounds simple. Cue one huge pizza and half a pound of wine gums just for himself.

Next day we go to the pub. We're sitting outside on one of those pub garden tables and I'm telling him something funny. He laughs manically, farts and the smile freezes on his face. Standing up there's a lovely dollop of undigested fat he's farted trhough his pants and trousers. Already half cut we continue the drinking inside laughing ourselves silly while he sorts himself out in the gents.

We stagger out two hours later, the sun baking hot to find the stain still there. It's been there since.
(Mon 16th Jul 2007, 11:42, More)