b3ta.com user alexlightfoot1
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» School Trips

Music trip
In yr9 i went on a music trip with my school. It was really shit, but the most vivid memory of it was that we had been walking back to the campsite where we were staying. I needed to take a big shit. I therefore went straight for the loos. I then farted the longest fart of my life, probably for around twenty seconds. I then proceded by the usual, washing hands, etc. I then left and i could hear giggling from people i knew and i saw a guy that i knew called Mike, and this girl he fancied called Nina. I then went back to my tent, thinking nothing of it. Mike then came back to the tent looking disgruntled, and said to me "Couldn't you have kept yourself from farting, i was asking out Nina!" Hilarity from my behalf then ensued.
(Sun 10th Dec 2006, 22:44, More)

» School Trips

Frankfurt
We went to frankfurt last week for lower sixth IT/Business Studies/Tech trip. We arrived in frankfurt to find out that our hotel was right on the edge of Red Light District. So every time we left the hotel we would see a naked woman somehow. Though the funniest and weirdest part of the trip was when a friend decided it would be fun for the group of three of us to buy female thongs, parade in them in our room, take them off , then give them to an unsuspecting friend, who would theoretically think it was a girls, and maybe play around with them, then we would show him pictures of us in them in the morning. While we were parading in them, he walked in to see us in thongs, and was speechless. It was less funny when the teachers walked in...
(Sun 10th Dec 2006, 22:30, More)

» Pet Stories

Drunk...on chocolate
My dog once ate some chocolate, and became what I can only describe as drunk. He kept running around adly for about 20 mins, ran into the house, kept running, until he figured out there were some stairs. He tried madly to brake, but it was to no avail. He came tumbling down the stairs and hit the door at the bottom.

It was quite funny to watch
(Mon 11th Jun 2007, 23:15, More)

» Pet Stories

Oh, Fudge
My dog Fudge (who was previously called Faustus, but thats another story) regularly has coughing fits that make him collapse on the floor and twitch madly, through lack of oxygen.

Its not even that funny if you think about it.

Sorry
(Mon 11th Jun 2007, 23:12, More)

» Why I was late

Not me, but a "mate"
I used to have a friend who used to keep casts from past broken arms so that he could put them on to fake another one..

He got sacked in the end from his job selling shoes in a respectable shop and now works stacking shelves in a supermarket.
(Tue 3rd Jul 2007, 21:48, More)
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