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» Amazing displays of ignorance
A colleague of mine
wanted to know where Veal came from. After a worryingly little amount of effort, we managed to convince him it grew on trees in Veal Orchards.There was a slight wobble in his understanding when he looked confused, and stated that he thought veal was a meat. "Naaah, that's venison you're thinking of".
Same colleague, spent ten minutes trying to get rid of a dead pixel on an LCD screen by moving a magnet over it in a circular fasion, on our recommendation. We thought the game was up when a more senior engineer came over and started laughing, but were relieved when his only comment was "You idiot.... ANTI-clockwise" and left him to it.
(Sun 21st Mar 2010, 0:10, More)
A colleague of mine
wanted to know where Veal came from. After a worryingly little amount of effort, we managed to convince him it grew on trees in Veal Orchards.There was a slight wobble in his understanding when he looked confused, and stated that he thought veal was a meat. "Naaah, that's venison you're thinking of".
Same colleague, spent ten minutes trying to get rid of a dead pixel on an LCD screen by moving a magnet over it in a circular fasion, on our recommendation. We thought the game was up when a more senior engineer came over and started laughing, but were relieved when his only comment was "You idiot.... ANTI-clockwise" and left him to it.
(Sun 21st Mar 2010, 0:10, More)
» Easiest Job Ever
Electronics Retail
Whilst at uni, I got a job with a high street electronic component retailer whose name sounds like something to do with "Hi-de-hi". I say components, they just sell shite now.
Anyway, Saturdays were quite hectic in so much as there were actual customers to serve sometimes. The easy bit was the day after.... we were one of the only shops in the city to open on a Sunday, seemingly a decision had been made at head office without anyone thinking about local trends. Not to worry.... we were three young gentlemen in a shop full of gadgets! We could make our own entertainment.
I think the highlight was wandering around the rest of the retail block, unoccupied at the time, wearing night-vision goggles and using the walkie-talkies. Obviously we had to close the store to do that. Or rewiring the store PA system to play any sort of offensive music whilst we "destruction test" the fun looking stuff. Remember those frisbees with the LEDs on the side, displaying messages as they flew? For some reason our stationary display model read "Pissflaps".
Competitions were held, the most popular being "tag the customer" where security tags were stealthily applied to any customers who happened to wander into the store. We could then tut and glare as they set the alarms off on exit.
The best job was going through the returns pile, making sure when it went into the skip it was unusable. This involved using inventive methods to break it, basically.
(Thu 9th Sep 2010, 22:41, More)
Electronics Retail
Whilst at uni, I got a job with a high street electronic component retailer whose name sounds like something to do with "Hi-de-hi". I say components, they just sell shite now.
Anyway, Saturdays were quite hectic in so much as there were actual customers to serve sometimes. The easy bit was the day after.... we were one of the only shops in the city to open on a Sunday, seemingly a decision had been made at head office without anyone thinking about local trends. Not to worry.... we were three young gentlemen in a shop full of gadgets! We could make our own entertainment.
I think the highlight was wandering around the rest of the retail block, unoccupied at the time, wearing night-vision goggles and using the walkie-talkies. Obviously we had to close the store to do that. Or rewiring the store PA system to play any sort of offensive music whilst we "destruction test" the fun looking stuff. Remember those frisbees with the LEDs on the side, displaying messages as they flew? For some reason our stationary display model read "Pissflaps".
Competitions were held, the most popular being "tag the customer" where security tags were stealthily applied to any customers who happened to wander into the store. We could then tut and glare as they set the alarms off on exit.
The best job was going through the returns pile, making sure when it went into the skip it was unusable. This involved using inventive methods to break it, basically.
(Thu 9th Sep 2010, 22:41, More)
» How clean is your house?
Milk.
It's good for you, but only normally when it's fresh.
My final year student house was a lovely old thing, just two of us and it technically wasn't a student house anyway, so it had real furniture and neighbours that didn't hate us. But anyway, one day the milkman knocked at the door and asked if we'd like to sample his lovely milky wares, at a cheap rate for a week. Why not? So we agreed to about three pints a week. Roll on a couple of months, and we're clearly not using three pints a week - after all, milk isn't alcoholic - so it's starting to stack up a bit in the fridge. the whole door was full of unopened bottles, so we decided to leave the poor guy a note saying we'd reconsidered, and we'd like to stop the deliveries.
And still the milk came. A few more weeks pass, we leave another note. More milk arrives, along with a request for some money. Cheeky sod! So we pay up, hoping it's a final payment and some farewell milk, but no - more arrives later in the week.
Fast forward about 8 months. Milk is now the only content of the fridge, and it's also occupying the space on top of, and to the side of the fridge too. We must have 60 unopened bottles in varying states of seperation - brown liquid, white solid. Interestingly, the stuff on top of the fridge where it's nice and warm has decayed quicker, who'd have thought? But the fridge was now out of bounds, only a brave fool would open the door. The trouble is, it was coming up to moving out time, how on earth would we get rid of 60 rancid pints of milk?
Bless my mum, I've never asked much of her but when she phoned and offered to lend a hand cleaning the house, she didn't understand why I was so overjoyed. I hung around at the edge of the kitchen, retching for a while, then went out. When I came back, there were 60 crystal-clean milk bottles on the front path. Bless her indeed.
(Mon 29th Mar 2010, 17:08, More)
Milk.
It's good for you, but only normally when it's fresh.
My final year student house was a lovely old thing, just two of us and it technically wasn't a student house anyway, so it had real furniture and neighbours that didn't hate us. But anyway, one day the milkman knocked at the door and asked if we'd like to sample his lovely milky wares, at a cheap rate for a week. Why not? So we agreed to about three pints a week. Roll on a couple of months, and we're clearly not using three pints a week - after all, milk isn't alcoholic - so it's starting to stack up a bit in the fridge. the whole door was full of unopened bottles, so we decided to leave the poor guy a note saying we'd reconsidered, and we'd like to stop the deliveries.
And still the milk came. A few more weeks pass, we leave another note. More milk arrives, along with a request for some money. Cheeky sod! So we pay up, hoping it's a final payment and some farewell milk, but no - more arrives later in the week.
Fast forward about 8 months. Milk is now the only content of the fridge, and it's also occupying the space on top of, and to the side of the fridge too. We must have 60 unopened bottles in varying states of seperation - brown liquid, white solid. Interestingly, the stuff on top of the fridge where it's nice and warm has decayed quicker, who'd have thought? But the fridge was now out of bounds, only a brave fool would open the door. The trouble is, it was coming up to moving out time, how on earth would we get rid of 60 rancid pints of milk?
Bless my mum, I've never asked much of her but when she phoned and offered to lend a hand cleaning the house, she didn't understand why I was so overjoyed. I hung around at the edge of the kitchen, retching for a while, then went out. When I came back, there were 60 crystal-clean milk bottles on the front path. Bless her indeed.
(Mon 29th Mar 2010, 17:08, More)