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» It's Not What It Looks Like!
Subway
A few years ago when I was on duty as a firefighter we decided to take the truck to Subway for lunch. The young girl (15 or so) who was serving asked me what I would like to order and without thinking I asked her the following question "do you ever find that six inches isn't enough, but twelve inches is too much????" The look I got in return was priceless! I couldn't get out of there quick enough.
(Sun 12th Dec 2010, 5:50, More)
Subway
A few years ago when I was on duty as a firefighter we decided to take the truck to Subway for lunch. The young girl (15 or so) who was serving asked me what I would like to order and without thinking I asked her the following question "do you ever find that six inches isn't enough, but twelve inches is too much????" The look I got in return was priceless! I couldn't get out of there quick enough.
(Sun 12th Dec 2010, 5:50, More)
» Accidental innuendo
Accidental innuendo
A couple of years ago we from the local fire station decided to go out and get some dodgy takeaway for lunch. I decided on a Subway sandwich from the local shopping centre, and was standing at the counter trying to decide when the young girl behind the counter asked me if I had decided what I wanted. I couldn't decide whether I wanted a 6 or 12 inch roll, so, I asked her "If she ever found that 6 inches wasn't enough, but 12 inches was too much."
(Tue 17th Jun 2008, 13:56, More)
Accidental innuendo
A couple of years ago we from the local fire station decided to go out and get some dodgy takeaway for lunch. I decided on a Subway sandwich from the local shopping centre, and was standing at the counter trying to decide when the young girl behind the counter asked me if I had decided what I wanted. I couldn't decide whether I wanted a 6 or 12 inch roll, so, I asked her "If she ever found that 6 inches wasn't enough, but 12 inches was too much."
(Tue 17th Jun 2008, 13:56, More)
» What's the most horrific thing you've seen?
Once got called to help the Police search a unit in Kings Cross,
in Sydneys red light district. Bit strange thinks I, the Police don't usually need the Fire Brigade to help them do searches in peoples homes. The reason soon became obvious though. The said unit was the home of a not so recently deceased heroin addict and prostitute, only she was still in attendance.
Now I've seen a few dead people in my twenty odd years in the Fire Brigade, and they don't usually worry me, except for the first one which scared the shit out of me. But this one had a bit of a twist. You see, the departed lady of the night, had a pet poodle, awww, cute, I hear you think, she had a good heart after all. Maybe so, but you'd be hard pressed to tell because the cute little poodle had been munching down on its deceased owner for at least two weeks. As the owner had died wearing only a pair of panties, snookems had decided that all that exposed flesh was just too good to pass up, and had proceeded to eat her face, breasts, stomach and the tops of her thighs. In fact the only way the Police at the scene could determine the sex was to look down inside the corpses knickers to see if there was any meat and two veg. But if the sight wasn't bad enough, the smell was unbelievable.
Two week old rotten corpse, stale dogshit, fresh dogshit, and some sickly perfume stuff the Police had used to try and mask the smell.
Which is why we were there, to lend the Police our breathing apparatus because you literally couldn't breath in there without spewing. I know, I tried and failed.
The bizarest thing was as they were removing what was left of the body, and discussing who was going to drop the (by now quite fat) pooch off at the RSPCA, the next door neighbour pipes up and says" Oh, he's a nice little chap, I'll have him if nobody minds". Stuffed if I know how you'd be able to sleep at night in a unit knowing that your dog had a taste for human flesh.
(Mon 25th Jun 2007, 2:07, More)
Once got called to help the Police search a unit in Kings Cross,
in Sydneys red light district. Bit strange thinks I, the Police don't usually need the Fire Brigade to help them do searches in peoples homes. The reason soon became obvious though. The said unit was the home of a not so recently deceased heroin addict and prostitute, only she was still in attendance.
Now I've seen a few dead people in my twenty odd years in the Fire Brigade, and they don't usually worry me, except for the first one which scared the shit out of me. But this one had a bit of a twist. You see, the departed lady of the night, had a pet poodle, awww, cute, I hear you think, she had a good heart after all. Maybe so, but you'd be hard pressed to tell because the cute little poodle had been munching down on its deceased owner for at least two weeks. As the owner had died wearing only a pair of panties, snookems had decided that all that exposed flesh was just too good to pass up, and had proceeded to eat her face, breasts, stomach and the tops of her thighs. In fact the only way the Police at the scene could determine the sex was to look down inside the corpses knickers to see if there was any meat and two veg. But if the sight wasn't bad enough, the smell was unbelievable.
Two week old rotten corpse, stale dogshit, fresh dogshit, and some sickly perfume stuff the Police had used to try and mask the smell.
Which is why we were there, to lend the Police our breathing apparatus because you literally couldn't breath in there without spewing. I know, I tried and failed.
The bizarest thing was as they were removing what was left of the body, and discussing who was going to drop the (by now quite fat) pooch off at the RSPCA, the next door neighbour pipes up and says" Oh, he's a nice little chap, I'll have him if nobody minds". Stuffed if I know how you'd be able to sleep at night in a unit knowing that your dog had a taste for human flesh.
(Mon 25th Jun 2007, 2:07, More)
» Greed
Greed
Back in 2000 when Sydney had the Olympics my organisation decided to allocate a shitload of overtime to be worked at various Olympic venues around the city. My Bosses boss, the lazy twat, couldn't be bothered working out a way to fairly distribute the OT amongst the troops, so got one of his arselicking minions to do it for him. Turns out this brownnosing cock allocates most of the cream to himself and his bumchums, doing everyone else out of their share.
Now it takes a bit to get me to react, but I snapped. Rang the big boss and told him I was going to report him for corruption. Turns out senior officers are scared shitless of that particular C word, and he folded like a deck of cards. Asked me if I was happy with names being drawn out of a hat and would I like to supervise the draw.
No surprises when I only got one shift of OT, but ended up swapping with another guy so ended up working two shifts instead. Then the pay section fucked up and paid me for three shifts instead of two. Result. Been 11 years now and I suppose I should tell them of their error. Maybe next week.
(Sat 16th Apr 2011, 12:43, More)
Greed
Back in 2000 when Sydney had the Olympics my organisation decided to allocate a shitload of overtime to be worked at various Olympic venues around the city. My Bosses boss, the lazy twat, couldn't be bothered working out a way to fairly distribute the OT amongst the troops, so got one of his arselicking minions to do it for him. Turns out this brownnosing cock allocates most of the cream to himself and his bumchums, doing everyone else out of their share.
Now it takes a bit to get me to react, but I snapped. Rang the big boss and told him I was going to report him for corruption. Turns out senior officers are scared shitless of that particular C word, and he folded like a deck of cards. Asked me if I was happy with names being drawn out of a hat and would I like to supervise the draw.
No surprises when I only got one shift of OT, but ended up swapping with another guy so ended up working two shifts instead. Then the pay section fucked up and paid me for three shifts instead of two. Result. Been 11 years now and I suppose I should tell them of their error. Maybe next week.
(Sat 16th Apr 2011, 12:43, More)