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» Desperate Times

There were three in the bed....
It all began at a house party where a certain female (Ms.A) was directing her attention towards me.

She wasn't particularly bad looking, but we had gotten together before, and I had vowed never to go there again.... but I was a little bit desperate. (I had been single for 2 years, and hadn't even scored since the last failed relationship two years ago.)

The night was coming to an end, and I was faced with the problem of where I was going to stay for the night. I couldn't afford a taxi because I lived so far away, but I knew I could crash at one of my friends houses. It turned out that Ms.A was staying at the apartment of a mutual friend, Liam, and seeing as I was hoping to break my 2-year streak of bad luck, I joined them.

5 of us crammed into a taxi and went to Liams house. Then we had to sort out who slept where. Liam got his own bed, and his cousin slept in the spare room. That left myself and the two girls (Ms.A and Ms.B), both of whom I am good friends with. The only space left was a sofabed in the living room, which all 3 of us were to sleep on.


Unfortunately, sleeping didn't really happen, even though it was 3 A.M. and I needed to get up at 7 to go to work. What did happen was myself and MS.A were fondling about beneath the sheets, while MS.B was right next to us. Every once in a while, MS.B would hear "noises", and turn around to see what was going on, at which time we pretended that nothing had happened. Eventually she DID catch us in the act (seeing as there were three of us on a small couch, it was hard not to), and left the room for a while so that we could "get it out of our systems".

At one stage, when Ms.A stopped sucking my face off she was nice enough to say "hehe, you're gonna have loads of cold sores on your face tomorrow". What?. "Yeah, I'm breaking out with them"(points to face). Agh! Face herpes! I already knew that I would regret it in the morning, but like the gentleman that I am (Read: Desperate), I chose to finish what I had started. I did manage to pop off to the loo later that night and scrub myself all over, trying to get rid of any trace of her.

It is many moons later, and I seemed to have escaped without any effects. Ms.B forgave me for my actions. She does get pissed off when I tell her how shit she was in the threesome (She just lay there doing nothing). Apparently, she doesn't think what happened qualifies as a threesome.
(Sun 18th Nov 2007, 19:52, More)

» What was I thinking?

Sometimes the right thing to do isn't the right thing to do....
In my younger days, I secretly hated myself. In fact, I frequently sabotaged my owns attempts at losing my virginity.

The first was my long distance girlfriend who had come to visit me from far far away. She said she didn't want to have sex.... until one thing led to another and she announced she wanted nothing more in the world than have sex with me right there and then. Instead of doing the right thing, I talked her out of it, pointing out that she had, up until a few minutes ago, had different wishes.

The next attempt was with another (not so long distance) girlfriend. Who after many months of *sigh* waiting told me she was finally ready. Trying to be a nice boyfriend, I told her not to feel pressured, and that she could take as much time as she needed, to make sure she really wanted to.

She took her time. And then changed her mind.

What was I thinking?!?
(Sun 26th Sep 2010, 0:37, More)

» Insults

It's true....
"Your face" can be used as a comeback to any insult. Without fail.

A calm uttering of "Fuck off and die" will work wonders too. The silence that ensues is the perfect opportunity to walk off, having won the argument/insult match/court case.
(Thu 4th Oct 2007, 15:00, More)