b3ta.com user RVD420
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» The Dark

It's very dark here
Then again, I haven't seen much daylight since coming to Portugal.

(Thu 23rd Jul 2009, 16:07, More)

» God

The Pope (bindun?)
Early one morning, the pope was having a nice shower, when he felt a certain tingle down there. Figuring that a little sin never did anyone any harm, he proceeds to have a quick wank. Just as he climaxes though, he here's a strange "click" noise. Quickly, he grabs a towel and exits the shower, and sees a paparazzo lens sticking through the bathroom window.

"You there!" He shouts. "You must give me that camera!"

"Are you kidding?" says the paparazzo. "I just got a photo of the pope wanking! I'm rich"

"But my child," says the pope, "You could bring down the Church if people knew! Think of the chaos, the heartache!"

"Sorry pal, this pic is worth millions to me."

The pope sighs. "Very well, if I give you ten million euros will you give me the camera?"

The paparazzo thinks on this for a moment and agrees. So the pope writes him a cheque, takes the camera and sends him on his way. Later, as he's sitting on his bed grumbling and trying to get the film out, a maid walks in.

"Oh, your Holiness," says the maid, "that's a very nice camera. How much did it cost you?"

"Ten million euros." grunts the pope.

"Ten million euros? TEN MILLION EUROS?" They must have seen you coming!"
(Thu 26th Mar 2009, 12:12, More)

» Helicopter Parents

It's a shame my folks weren't hovering around me
and were, instead, hovering around the bar. At least they're not annoying me now.

Maddie x
(Thu 10th Sep 2009, 15:22, More)

» Cringe!

More to the point, MY Countdown appearance. I can't look at it now without cringing (which is a shame as it was always my ambition to appear on the show and I fulfilled it), the only real highlight was the fact that I got the word "Poofter" onto tea-time telly.

If I was a turtle, you wouldn't see my head. Ever.
(Wed 3rd Dec 2008, 17:12, More)

» Prejudice

Rather appropriate topic...
...given my current situation.

I'm a bloke, near mid 30's, my girlf is White (I'm Indian) and I've experienced prejudice from my own family. Ever since they knew about this relationship (she and I love each other very much and want to get married someday), they've used a lot of emotional blackmail and have basically said that I have to choose between all of them and my woman.

To be completely honest, this is the best relationship I've ever been in, I'm completely accepted & loved unconditionally by her and I've totally found my soulmate, so I decided that I wasn't going to give her up and am going to have a future with her. So it looks like now I won't be welcome in the family home (I have to find a place to move to), my family have said straight up they'll never accept this relationship and I'm pretty much cast out. What makes it worse is that my sister is due to drop a sprog any day now and there's a good chance I may not get to see it. All because I fell in love with "the wrong person". Isn't life great?! :o)

Apologies for lack of lol's, I've had a bit of a hard week and needed to vent. To all those of you who are in mixed relationships, I wish you all the best and hope that you don't have to go through this crap like we are currently going through!!
(Sat 3rd Apr 2010, 19:18, More)
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