b3ta.com user TFD
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The exceptionally erudite Dr Shambolic put together this charming rhyme:

The Furry Dinosaur
With her satin claws she'll capture
The beating heart of every b3ta boy.
Stalking the web
Like a velvet velociraptor
She'll maul you like a kitten with a toy

Norse god of /talk rhcpaul composed this ditty about me:

tee eff dee
filled with glee
she's dead wee
oh em gee

The very Amorous Badger concoted this verse for me:

Oh Furry Dino, Furry Dino
Also known as Lizzy
I'd like to lay you down on the lino
And cuddle you till my cock went fizzy

The wonderful Maffers wrote me this beauty:

There was a young Furry dino.
Who look nothing like a big Rhino.
For a tuppence a day,
She'd pretend to be Gay.
and shag all YOUR MUM's on the Lino.

Thanks to Magnificent Moohalaa aka Fatpoof who typed out this little nugget of love:

her name is furry dinosaur
and she's got a massive clit
the only way I'd shag her fanny
is if in her cunt I'd shit

cr3 baked me this delicious pixel cake on the occasion of my 4th b3taday. He's a very lovely man.

Gonzo composed a piece for solo violin and kindly dedicated it to me.

The fabulous Frunt did me... fnar fnar etc... in pixel form.

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Wormy made this for me.

Anomalous Anonymous made this awesome courtroom impression of my patented dance move. It involves me knee sliding along the floor whist air guitaring before removing one hand from the air guitar playing to hi-five my dance partner. I think this lovely collage captures the moment nicely.

DarkSideOfTheSpoon very kindly rendered me in vector form.

The indescribably wonderful Azra3l made me this scientific reconstruction of the Furry Clitasaurus, isn't she lovely.

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Bud awarded me this beautiful bit of bling.

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I was also given this by Enigmatic in the interests of celebrating sexual deformity.

The amazing Shamen made this imagining of my upcoming role in Jurassic Park 4: Attack of the Clitasaurus

Teh /talk Insomniac Club

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Unexpected Nudity

My mum used to teach children with special needs.
She had an outing with one kid with down syndrome, just doing normal things, going around town and the like.

She was paying for some treats in a shop when she heard his voice behind her: 'I love you', and my mum, knowing that people with down syndrome have the tendency to be very affectionate, said 'Aww, I love you too'. He replied, 'no you don't understand, I REALLY love you' and my mum turned from the shop assistant to see him, wang in hand, smiling broadly at her.

From then on, whenever my dad wants to embarrass my mum he shuffles up to her, ginning and gurning, and says in the most simple voice he can 'I REALLY love you'.
(Sat 30th May 2009, 15:54, More)

» Food sex

On the bus through one of the less salubrious areas of London, 2 boys of about 12-13 got on.
Immediately their loud conversation turned to boasts of their sexual conquests.

A couple of minutes in, the one who looked like a chain smoking foetus produced his trump card in their game of 'then I put it up 'er' one-upmanship stating that his girlfriend had 'sworn on her mum's life that she'd let him have food sex with her'.

As the other chatter on the bus dwindled into a disgusted but interested silence he graphically explained what he would spread on her and where... as I got off at my stop him and his friend were discussing the relative merits of crunchy vs smooth peanut butter in terms of tastiness and added friction.

Seriously... you know it's a rough area when a 13 year old needs crunchy peanut butter to feel the sides of his pre-pubescent girlfriend's clunge.
(Mon 10th Aug 2009, 14:12, More)

» Gambling

Not about me but...
Before my Dad was born my Grandad was a merchant seaman but he wasn't getting paid as much as he'd like on the ship he was on so he quit.

Down on the docks he entered a poker game and won another guy's boat on a lucky hand.

I guess he used that boat for whatever work he could get his hands on as he ended up running guns to cuba and trafficking alcohol and cigars back to America.

He said it was one of the best times in his life and I will never forget his immortal words to me about his seafaring days:
'I tell you my dear, on shore it was all wine, women and song, but onboard ship it was rum, bum and concertina'.
(Thu 7th May 2009, 20:08, More)

» Dumb things you've done

I hit myself in the face with a hammer once by accident.

I broke my nose.

I cried for about 10 minutes... and then laughed for ages at my own stupidity.
(Sat 22nd Dec 2007, 14:53, More)

» My most gullible moment

My then boyfriend once convinced me that
Penguin bars were called 'penguin' because they were the original energy snack eaten during the first expedition to the South pole.

Then again, I did get him back later by making him believe that there was a special species of aquatic bees.

We had a competition to see who could get the other to believe the most outlandish lie.
(Fri 22nd Aug 2008, 1:18, More)
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