b3ta.com user 27B/6
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» Social Networking Gaffes

...and relax.
My buddy is throwing a big party to celebrate his birthday, but he's terrified of two things going wrong:

The first is that someone posts an invite on the web, causing a thousand pricks to turn up and fuck his house.

By contrast, his second worry is that no one's going to turn up at all; on the 23rd Sept, from 9pm, at 25, Cromwell Street, etc...
(Mon 15th Sep 2008, 13:51, More)

» Annoying words and phrases

The Well Pause

Step 1. The problem.
"Our political candidates don't just want power over you, they also want to be physically intimidating."

Step 2. The Solution.
"So we've started giving them knives and moustaches."

Step 3. The Well Pause.
"To make them look a little bit more, well... rapey."

Step 4. Rage
(Wed 14th Apr 2010, 13:17, More)

» The Boss

Just resigned. The MD says, "We're going to miss you, 27b. It's just like you're one of the team."

Feel I have to mention another former boss. Working at a northern Little Chef many years ago. One day the Chef* doesn't turn up for work. Turns out the night before he tried to kick the bucket and missed. This boss makes him come straight to work from A&E to show him the fresh and weeping stitches. Wow.

* Yes. This is what they were called. With no irony whatsoever.
(Thu 18th Jun 2009, 14:17, More)

» The Boss

Top Gun
MD discovers one of his exec hasn't see the film Top Gun. Gives entire company the week off to re-make the film.

Then posts re-make on YouTube. It's probably about as good as you think it's going to be. Assuming you think it's going to be fucking terrible, that is.

(Wed 24th Jun 2009, 11:32, More)