b3ta.com user dr goodthrust
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» Irrational Fears

Didn't used to
A friend of mine, when I was doing 'A' levels in Lewes, had an irrational fear of walking over manhole covers in the pavement. Well, not when there were only one or two, but when there were three in a row. Apparently, it's very bad luck.

Anyway, on one fine day out in Brighton, I'm walking along with him, when he notices I'm about to step onto the third cover. What does his intrepid mind come up with as a suitable solution? None other than to push me into a main road, causing a couple of cars to nearly run me over and instead smash into each other.

Still can't walk over them to this day.
(Wed 28th Jan 2004, 9:24, More)

» I met a weirdo on the interweb

Such happy, happy times
Met an American lass on t'interweb, met up, drank, got on pretty well, fast foward nine months on and she's starting to force the marriage question somewhat. This had nothing to do with her being over illegally whatsoever.

Ended up with her squatting in my flat, fun with the local police. Truly random fun.

Still, I was pleased; the first happy yet lyrically bitter breakup song I've ever written: FAT
(Tue 21st Mar 2006, 3:17, More)

» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

Last one a mere few hours ago...
My boss has tomorrow off. As I left the office, I wished him a good 'un.

Five minutes later and I remember; he's taken the day off to go to a funeral.
(Thu 22nd Apr 2004, 23:51, More)

» Best Comebacks

Particular favourite
To slow-moving object/person/OAP: "Come on, I can fuck faster than that!"

Yeah, I'm lame.
(Fri 30th Apr 2004, 14:17, More)

» Breakin' The Law

Have yet to be arrested
However, I've had a few iffy moments.

Lamest was attempting to score weed late one drunken night in Soho. As the dealer and I walked along Soho Square, two or three cars suddenly lit up their headlights on us, and I had about four coppers *drag* me away and pin me up against the wall. Apparently, they thought I was dealing to the DEALER, despite the fact I was pissed as a fart and barely capable of coherant speach. Main geezer (very strange - not only had 70's BIG hair, but also wearing a tyedie t-shirt) told me EXACTLY where to walk to and get a bus. I caught a taxi halfway.

Scariest, and yet the most lame, involved my first time on acid. We ran out of cigarettes at three in the morning, and so headed to the local petrol station, all the way running through the possible scenarious between us - "Oh, you don't take credit cards, OK, here's some cash" and so on. Alas, the one possibility we hadn't considered was now in front of us - a very shaken staff member, two police vans and a couple of bullet holes in the serving compartment.

We ran. Fast.
(Fri 9th Jan 2004, 19:37, More)
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