b3ta.com user Professor Fnord
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Profile for Professor Fnord:
Profile Info:

2016: After 17 years my ISP is abandoning it's webspace offering. What began as Blueyonder with infinite bandwidth (b3ta definitely tested that out!), morphed into rather crappy VirginMedia. So now all the images, videos and flash things will be broken, dead links and my website will be no more than a few old pages on Archive.org's Wayback machine


M3tatweening Phase 3 & 4 NOW BACK ONLINE in DVD Quality - http://www.vimeo.com/7464540

Domo Darko - remastered from DVD (Nov 2009) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MezgByTz7Xg

Youtube Fnordcasting (none of me yakking)

My video thing YouTube playlist.

Which includes newer things like this - Design For Dreaming Annie Heartbeat remix as well as classics like Domo Darko and some M3tatweening.

Old Bits:

Just bidet

Pickled Pizza did a music mix last year and I've set it to the wonderful video for the song 'Late At Night' by Futureshock.

Click to watch
- I found someone had uploaded it to YouTube. I couldn't find it on my computer anymore.

My (hopelessly outdated) bloggy bit.

Click for an improvised B3tan remix of the Badger Badger Mushroom Mushroom song.

Daisy Cutter the Flash Musical - a late night complaint gets absorbed by B3ta.

Live Webcam - not always on...

m3tatweening Phase 003 is ready to watch.

Or if you fancy phase 3 & 4 joined together (and who wouldn't?) check out the download/streaming links on the main m3tatween page.

The definitive recursive post has been made.

Click above
for most recent image archive.

Where Do You Go To My Amelie? - Footage from Amelie cut to music.

Click to view streaming flashvideo

I'm really pleased with how this turned out - Domo Darko the music video.

Click for realplayer and div-x versions.

Click to find out more

I can't remember who did that but it's wonderful.

I love it when a plan comes together.

My main homepage.

What I did on my month off from Fnord when I couldn't log in.


Recent front page messages:

A few mishaps, but the Olympic torch's journey begins.

(Mon 8th Aug 2011, 19:29, More)

They've turned up at last!

(Mon 24th Dec 2007, 10:06, More)

If it was real the competition would have been more ruthless

(Wed 24th Aug 2005, 22:17, More)

Click for bigger
(Wed 17th Mar 2004, 16:28, More)

A rare insight into my mind - I was walking around the Tate Modern on Friday and things like this were happening

(Tue 18th Mar 2003, 17:12, More)

This is so true :)

(Tue 18th Mar 2003, 14:55, More)

er.. It's topical at least. That's something isn't it?

(Mon 17th Mar 2003, 17:12, More)

Someone's in trouble!!! Hang on, I'll just mount my trusty steed and I'll be on my way to save the day!!
supermouse to the rescue!!!
(click for huge)

Er.. Anyone got a ladder?
(Fri 21st Feb 2003, 12:52, More)

He didn't become a champion jockey by hanging around woods and playing with nuts you know.

Click for widescreen

And for those that missed these this morning www.b3ta.com/board/745162 and www.b3ta.com/board/745171
(Sat 1st Feb 2003, 18:47, More)

Everyone's money was on number 4, he'd never lost a race.

(Wed 15th Jan 2003, 12:17, More)

Hammer Time

(Tue 14th Jan 2003, 14:21, More)

Sing along with the government warning that became a hit song.

(Tue 19th Nov 2002, 20:58, More)

An Ostralien on the beach with his pals

(Sun 10th Nov 2002, 3:55, More)

Well, they were there weren't they?

(Thu 10th Oct 2002, 19:51, More)

Oh yes!

(Mon 30th Sep 2002, 21:14, More)

Scaredy cat

(Sun 8th Sep 2002, 20:53, More)

The reason miners put up with such a gruelling job
is because the coal face is so cute.

(Mon 22nd Jul 2002, 9:11, More)

It was hard to keep the kids happy in Victorian times
so they tried just about anything.

(Wed 3rd Jul 2002, 19:50, More)

Billie's face found on some ginger nuts

(Mon 24th Jun 2002, 14:16, More)

They took the scenic route.

(Mon 17th Jun 2002, 15:45, More)

Serves it right for trying to use a zebra crossing.

(Mon 10th Jun 2002, 0:19, More)

All in all it's just another brick in the wall

(Fri 24th May 2002, 19:21, More)

She's not smiling in today's paper

(Wed 22nd May 2002, 8:22, More)

Narwhal Gallagher
Fighting Machine

(Wed 15th May 2002, 15:35, More)

The first course of Pie Club is...

(Tue 9th Apr 2002, 0:40, More)

Maybe just about safe for work

Or go here if the pic gets edited to a link.

(This was my great idea btw).
(Wed 20th Feb 2002, 9:55, More)

Here's my T shirt suggestion

(Tue 5th Feb 2002, 9:40, More)

Kids these days...

It's in one ear and out the other!
(Thu 24th Jan 2002, 20:02, More)

Not really connected to anything else going on at the moment but...

Those eyes could prove useful.
(Tue 22nd Jan 2002, 12:10, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Happy 10th Birthday B3ta

Mere snippets from a decade of woo.
I was lucky enough to arrive early on with B3ta, the Kill Your Friends game's amazing theme song got me to visit the site and you could post without an account so I did that at first. I thought at the time getting id 498 might mean in 10 years time I'd feel honoured to be one of the first 500.

Some of my very early favourites were Giant Bee, Electric Dreams with Hawking and the Cursor Love Bunny... we could be here another 10 years if I go through all of them.

It was all amazing, the speed at which things were made, the love put into them, just for the sake of a quick joke or to get some crazy idea out of your head.

I was always confident that b3ta was going to explode in popularity because it was so full of incredible things.

I made this predicted growth chart in June 2002

This is the updated version with the actual results superimposed, the Introducing Monday site was the kink in July 2002.

Bandwidth was a strain back then many times we'd get a red x once a pic's hosting had exceeded it's limit but being on blueyonder I was fortunate to have unlimited bandwidth. I thought I could test out just how unlimited when Joel asked if I could host a couple of flash files for his animations Outtathaway by the Vines and a Blode Episode. They're just a few hundred k, no big deal. Wow! is all I can say. So many gigs worth of hits came in month after month I kept waiting for the phonecall and a huge bill but thankfully they never came :) (Still hosting them to this day)

Another early favourite was Joel's trip around London with a crab mask from Newsletter 20. I ended up bumping into him a few months later and recognising him from this so he was the first b3tan I met (if you don't count the ones I found out later I'd gone to school with). The bashes began in earnest in 2002 and so many great bonds were formed and chaos was released from the furtive minds.

I should save all this for a book one day ;) The m3tatweening (Phase 1) www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1yeD17rVQE was one of the best things I remember from a collaboration point of view (the b3ta fish screensaver that appeared from nowhere one afternoon from scratch was another - if anyone has the swf of that let me know www2.b3ta.com/screensaver/ )

The first one was just meant to be a long animated gif, but I got so many people wanting to take part I realised I would have to make it a video, then more b3tans added a soundtrack to it. If you#ve never heard of m3tatweening it's a b3tan stream of consciousness animation where each one of 20ish animators only get a start and end frame. They can get from one to the other any way they want, then all of it will join together using those key frames.

EDIT: M3tatweening Phase 2 now online again for the fist time in 5 or 6 years - vimeo.com/28960828

By the time it got to Phase 3 & 4 vimeo.com/7464540 - (Full HQ version) people were using full on video, particle effects, ms paint, imageready, anything you could imagine and yet it all still flowed together, it's a hefty 24 mins and full of great woo! All from such a simple idea.

Domo Darko (removed from Youtube now) was made the day millions marched around the world to protest against the upcoming Iraq War. It is probably the best received thing I made on b3ta but it only exists because b3ta does. The same goes for so many wonderful things we have seen over the years.

Part of why the Domo Darko song was so great to me was that I first saw the film Donnie Darko at the Curzon in London with some b3tans; Misteralfie, Bob the Dinosaur and maybe a couple more, the night before the 1st B3tan halloween bash in 2002. The film's timeline leads up in date to halloween so it all seemed so right.

B3ta also once led me to ask the Liverpool St. Station announcer to put a call out for 'Kaiser Bulbmeister' who had gone missing on the way to a bash. The poor guy really didn't seem keen on the Kaiser part but was more than happy to ask for a Mr. Bulbmeister.

Anyway, I must stop all this reminiscing now.

My Regius Professor of Chronology comes from Douglas Adams' Dirk Gently's Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul btw, early on I had actually managed to keep up with reading every single post on b3ta (and posting as much as 5% of them myself).

Timespaz back to any archive pages from 2002/2003 and pretend you're a lurker. Even if some of the images are missing the banter and laughs are still there. I can't pick out a few, if you knew me back then I thank you for making b3ta such a special place. Treasured memories are treasured.

Edit: For the record 9 years, 9 months, 9 days. (8 but I couldn't wait until after midnight to post this and 9 looks better)
(Mon 12th Sep 2011, 19:13, More)

» The most cash I've ever carried

Same as Andy_R - real money monopoly with Gimpo and Mr Green

At first I thought maybe it was the same game, but mine was at a screening in Derby in Nov '97.

I managed to win and in the background the film of them burning the money was now being played backwards, so they were plucking money as it wafted up out of the fire.

It was much nicer that way.
(Thu 22nd Jun 2006, 23:28, More)