» Evil Pranks

Cubicles full of paper....
OK, so it's not 'evil' like many of the things that'll be claimed this week, but (a) this one actually happened, and (b) it took ages to clean away afterwards, so it's evil as far as I'm concerned.

Anyway. I used to work in a typical cubicle farm, and there were always practical jokes being played. Boxes full of crumpled paper with the bottoms cut out, keyboard and mouse cables being switched (PS2 connectors obviously - not USB. That wouldn't achieve anything). Monitors being plugged into the PC next to it. Then we got a shredder.

Someone in the office mentioned that they had a hamster, and would appreciate some shredded paper. After a couple of days of finding bags and bags of the stuff, he begged us to stop. However, then we hit on the best idea.

One friday afternoon, after he'd gone home early, we taped up the entrance to his cubicle with big sheets of paper. We then removed the top part of the shredder, and suspended it over the side.

We obtained a five ream box of fanfold A4 (2500 sheets).

We put one end of the paper into the shredder, and made sure it caught. We stopped and restarted it a few times, until we had it straight. Then we went home.

On monday morning, the entire cubicle was full (and I mean full) of shredded paper.

It took him about four hours to get it out of everything.

I should say that we had tried to use a roll that we had with about two miles of 200mm wide paper on it. Unfortunately it weighed too much and the motor wouldn't pull it through.

Length? About 60 strips, each about 700m long. That's about 26 miles.

(edited to add that actually, it's about as evil as most of these. I'd expected 'so-and-so laughed at me, so I chopped his head off!! Hahahahaha!!!!eleventyone!!)
(Thu 13th Dec 2007, 14:47, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

I'M NOT REALLY A NGIGERIAN PRINCE
AND I DON'T ACUTALLY HAVE A SECRET ACCOWNT WITH $25,000,000 DOLLARS IN IT WITCH I WOOD LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU AS I KNOW YOU ARE A GOOD HONEST MAN.

WHEN YOU SEND ME YOUR BANK DETALES I WILL SIMPLY STEEL ALL YORE MONEY.

And I know what the caps lock button is for, but I assume you'll think you're more intelligent than me if I pretend I don't.

Hey! Look! I can spell too!
(Thu 27th Sep 2007, 11:59, More)

» Encounters with Royalty

Ngierian (?) Royalty
I keep getting emails from PRINCE ADENUKAYE OF NGIERIA. Apparently he's got a load of money in an account somewhere, and if I send him *5k to access it, he'll send me a couple of million by return post. Only thing is, I need someone to send me *200 to access my *5k. If anyone feels like sending it to me.....
(Thu 3rd Aug 2006, 15:45, More)

» Barred

T' Pub on T' Pond
Anyone who went to Swansea Uni will know this place.

Well. In 1992, during my first week there, we had a 'who can pinch the most pint glasses' competition.

I decided that the most obvious way to win was to spend a few minutes going table to table, collecting empties. I then walked out of the door with about 40.

Upon returning them later, the landlord decided to bar me.

Never figured that out.

Barred for returning glasses.
(Thu 31st Aug 2006, 16:01, More)

» Unexpected Good Fortune

We got burgled! Woo!
In 1999, as an amateur photographer with no budget, I had a fairly huge collection of very knackered, but good quality second hand gear, that I'd paid next to nothing for.

We'd just moved to one of the less salubrious parts of Swansea, and so we'd decided we really should sort out our insurance. We decided that a 'new for old' policy would be a good idea.

Anyway. Four weeks after moving, and sorting out insurance for the first time, someone kicked our door in, and stole my camera gear.

The insurance lady was round the next day, and helped me fill in the appropriate forms.

Bearing in mind that I'd paid a total of about *200 for four complete 35mm setups, I was nicely impressed when the cheque for *4500 dropped through the letterbox three days later, to replace my (good but) old gear with fancy new stuff.

Thanks burglars. If you'd like to do it again, there's a tenner in it for you.
(Fri 15th Sep 2006, 12:47, More)