b3ta.com user moffatt
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for moffatt:
Profile Info:


Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Council Cunts

Tidy Tip Twattery
We'd just moved house to a new place near Birmingham and, as you do with a new place, we had to get rid of all the old shite in the way of an otherwise great garden. This involved removing an old, stinking pond; shrubbery; knackered, rotting fence panels and a tree. It also required levelling the garden as it looked like some wanker had deposited a small mountain range in the lawn. This involved ripping the lawn up and getting rid of said grass.
By this point I had already taken the remains of the pond and a small pine tree down to the tip without issue. Ground works start and the lawn comes up so while my dad is busy removing the crappy lawn as fast as possible I start taking it down the tip. 5 loads later:
"Mate, this has to stop."
"Why? I pay my council tax!"
"Rent a skip in future, you're destroying your car as well"
"I pay a hell of a lot of council tax, I'm NOT paying £200 a weekend to rent a skip to get rid of domestic waste"
"You're banned for a month"

I wouldn't mind but it's not even run by the council, It's run by a private company who get paid by the council.

Wankers. North Warwickshire wankers.
(Thu 26th Jul 2007, 22:26, More)

» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

Erm, well
I didn't really rebel.
I listened to Heavy Metal - so did my mum
I started listening to Black Metal - my mum loved Cradle of Filth
I started riding a motorbike - as does my dad
I went out on the lash to a night club when I was 15 - my mum "ok, but don't expect a lift after 2.30 am"

I'm 18 now and I'm a supervisor at Scummerfield (for now).
(Wed 25th Jul 2007, 0:28, More)

» The Weird Kid In Class

That crazy Greek
In my GCSE/AS Physics class there was a greek lad, AG. AG is actually very tame by the standards set on here, but he was a bit weird regardless.
He would come in one morning saying "Oh yeah, [insert band name here] are the shit!" The very next day he would say "Who wants to buy [insert previous band name's album] off me, I think they're shit."
But that wasn't the weirdest thing he did (obviously, otherwise it wouldn't be QOTW worthy), he would frequently play with himself at various time and would unzip his trousers in lessons for 'comfort.'

Length? We don't think he really had one.
(Sun 21st Jan 2007, 19:30, More)

» Barred

Banned from most of Luton
A load of my coleagues were banned from most Luton night clubs for some reason - can't remember why now but no violence was involved.
(Tue 5th Sep 2006, 18:15, More)

» Encounters with Royalty

Singin' for royalty.
We in the National Barbershop Youth Chorus were comissioned to sing in a major charity concert at the Natural History Museum in London. It was a good laugh with all costs paid-for by the charity.
I travelled down by train with a mate of mine (another member) and it was a disaster, mostly due to his lack of organisation. We arranged to meet at Luton Station at 12.30 to get the 12.40 Midland Mainline. 12.30 came and went. I was getting worried at this point about navigating the city alone. a few calls later, I jump on a train and get off at Kings Cross when who should appear from the carriage behind me? Mr Disorganisation, shortly followed by his catchphrase "shit, where's my ticket???" We proceed to the rendez vous point and the immortal phrase was repeated at each and every station.
We arrive, warm-up and generally get ready. The time has come.
The guest list is excellent, including the likes of HM Queen Sylvia of Sweden, Crown Prince Abdullah Al Saud, Grand Duke and Duchess of Luxembourg etc etc. Shame the entire audience was crap and unresponsive.
Still, we got lashed afterwards and it was generally a good laugh.
(Fri 4th Aug 2006, 21:00, More)
[read all their answers]