b3ta.com user cliftos2000
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» Puns

Short but sweet
Did you hear about the randy German poet?

He went from bed to verse.
(Tue 10th Mar 2009, 12:11, More)

» Best Films Ever

A wonderful heartwarming tale...

As it's tagline stated, the closest you will ever want to come to Nuclear War.

Probably the most horrific and genuinely scary film I have ever watched but by god it's compelling.

Oh, and it came with the dubious accolade of those people from Sheffield who still remember the old 'egg Box' council offices cheering when the blast wave hits. Sick puppies.
(Thu 17th Jul 2008, 15:56, More)

» The Worst Journey in the World

Broken bum and a coach trip...
Back in my schooldays, my comprehensive desperately tried to live up to its middle class pretensions by organising annual ski holidays for the kids, but as most of us were either from farming families or had parents that worked for bugger all at the local 'tomic plant (that should give the school away) we all went by hire coach. To Austria.

Now normally this is something to be born with gritted teeth and inventive ways of filling the boredom of driving across most of Europe.

Unfortunately about 2 weeks before going, an aforementioned farmers son (who had taken a dislike to the fact that I a) used words with more than 2 syllables and b) had my dad's home county accent), decided to kick me in the arse with his steel toecapped boot and fractured my coccyx. Now for those who don't know, this is the base of your spine that takes a lot of pressure when you sit down.

And I had to sit on a coach for 40+ hours. Pain wasn't the word.

I think I became slightly addicted to Ibuprofen that week.

Still can't sit in a chair for more than a couple of hours even though it was well over 11 years ago...
(Thu 7th Sep 2006, 17:42, More)