b3ta.com user hooj
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» Personal Hygiene

Not me but a friend
Whilst at university a friend of mine use to work Saturday's at a supermarket in the centre of town. They would often get some strange characters come in but there was one customer who took the biscuit.

Just before closing one day a tramp walked in and started wondering the isles, he was obviously homeless as he was dressed like only a homeless person could, wearing the very best that the Red Cross could offer. Anyway whilst standing in the middle of an isle this tramp proceeded to take a shit. He didn't take down his trousers, he instead decided to take a shit in his trouser and then proceeded to shake his leg until the rancid turd landed on the floor. At this point one of the managers came over and asked the tramp to leave and my mate was instructed to clean up this mess.

My friend decided that instead of putting on some gloves, picking the turd up, disposing of it and then cleaning the floor he would just go and get the floor cleaner. Looking back on it that was probably a bad idea.

The floor cleaner consisted of a motorized swirling mop that could spray water and soap onto the floor as it span. My mate turned on the floor cleaner and proceeded to run over the turd. Instead of the desired effect of removing this unsightly thing, it proceeded to smear it across the whole of the isle. It went from being a nice white clean floor with a singular turd to a mess of brown shitty water. When the manger saw this my mate got a right bollocking and was told to get a mop and a bucket and sort this mess out properly this time.
(Sat 24th Mar 2007, 16:00, More)

» Voyeurism

Girlfriend wasn't best pleased
A few years ago now a large group of us were round a friends place enjoying a few drinks and a bit of food before heading off into town. It was looking like it might be quiet a good night, everyone was in high spirits and there was plenty of banter being dished out.

The crowd was split up into two groups, one inside in the kitchen enjoying the food and drink and the other outside drinking and smoking. The group outside was slowly getting louder and louder and until one of the group popped there head inside and said that we better come out and have a look.

When we got outside we discovered most of the group were already climbing onto roof of the house. It transpired that one of my friends was inside with his girlfriend in the downstairs bathroom, and things were getting a bit frisky. Fortunately for us the bathroom had two skylights that were particular easy to reach. Most of the group climbed onto the roof and proceed to watch our friend roger his girlfriend silly.

We were all enjoying the show until my friend obviously pulled out a little too far and his cock slipped up her dirt chute. The girlfriend jumped up screaming and then, unfortunately, my friend looked up to see us lot all waving back at him.

What proceeded next was lots of shouting and screaming from my mate and his girlfriend. During this time we all climbed off the roof and back inside. Unfortunately for the girlfriend the only way out of the house was through the kitchen and passed us. To be fair you had to give it to her though she walked out of the house with her head held high even with us lot all trying to hold back laughter.
(Tue 16th Oct 2007, 17:38, More)

» Going Too Far

Video Evidence
Back at a mates house after a night out partying, one my friends, lets call him X, passed out on the couch. Another friend lets call him Y, saw the perfect opportunity to have some fun, so out came his old man. Y then proceeded to wipe his cock across X’s face ensuring there was full lips to cock contact.

Some may say that was taking things to far. Oh on the contrary...what was was recoding the whole incident on Y’s phone and then sending it to X’s phone as a little present. The best thing was X didn't have his phone on him so didn't get the message until the next day when he arrived home.

Let's say he was the happiest of people when he saw the video.

Pop... there it goes.
(Thu 16th Nov 2006, 13:55, More)