» Being told off as an adult

Stop dragging your feet
I heard the woman mutter at the end of the supermarket aisle as I shuffled up and down searching for a bottle of wine that looked nice and wasn't more than a fiver.

Weird, I thought, I can't see her child.

It turned out (as I walked down the aisle picking up my feet instead of doing the chardonnay shuffle) that she was talking to me. I got a 'that's better' as I walked past her.

I felt about 20 years younger than my actual age of 29
(Thu 20th Sep 2007, 20:11, More)

» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

a very sorry attempt at being a slag
I had recently broken up with long term boyfriend and had, somewhat reluctantly (it was cold, I was comfy on my sofa and could just as easily get drunk at home) gone out to a colleagues leaving do. Said colleague did a rather sexy dance, I figured that I may as well embrace the dream and be a bit of a slag and take him home with me. No problem I think. He is way too old for me (16 years my senior) this wont develop into anything serious.... fast forward two years to now. We have a small daughter and are getting married in May! The conclusion I have come to is that I am a rubbish slag...
(Tue 9th Dec 2008, 18:06, More)

» Oldies vs Computers

Porn?
Many moons ago, when my mum was still a bit wary of the computer and all this new fangled internet stuff (around 2000), she finally succumbed to the pleas of her daughters and husband and agreed to get the internet.

What's the first thing she does?

She types the word porn into a search engine.

Her excuse? 'I just couldn't believe that there could be as much porn as they say there is'

I think she was a bit shocked. Still, she never said how many of those sites she visited...
(Wed 27th Sep 2006, 17:13, More)

» Pathological Liars

My dad is Eric Bristow
When I was a young birdtoddler my dad convinced me he was Eric Bristow. He did look a lot like him and he played darts.

In my three year old head, it all made sense. Once when he was at home and Eric was doing his stuff on tv I did query how he managed it, but he explained that he'd pre recorded it and that was where he had been that morning.

I very probably told all my friends at nursery that my dad was Eric Bristow... Apologies if you're reading this now.
(Tue 4th Dec 2007, 9:51, More)

» Why I was late

Not yet, but its coming (come on 12th September) and boy I'm going to milk it
I'm sorry I'm late but my twin sister went into labour and I was sharing her pain...

I've had enough people ask me over the years if I can 'feel her pain' so I may as well use this to my advantage.
(Thu 28th Jun 2007, 11:06, More)