» Barred

Not Grand
I was once manhandled out of the Clapham Grand for winding shut the big velet curtain at the side of the stage across the 9 piece seventies band. The bouncers were putting so much effort into chucking me out no one thought to pull back the curtains again to reveal the musicians. I don't think anybody dancing really cared. I didn't either.
(Fri 1st Sep 2006, 13:38, More)

» Spoooky Coincidence

Colourful rantings
Once my sister and I both shouted out the word pink in unison. Unfortunately I was in the middle of a lecture at Uni and she was on a train, I told her about my strange outburst and she said she had done exactly the same thing at the same time.
Nothing to do with anything but the other day at work I said out loud 'I always have ferrets and birds on my arm'. Not sure whey I did this, I must check with my sister. Colleagues are wary of me.
(Fri 9th Feb 2007, 13:55, More)

» Have you ever seen a dead body?

little pillows
I have seen many in my time as Lifeboat crew on a tidal river. They actually can look like little pillows floating in the water from the gases that have travelled up to their shoulders after drowning. Don't smell as nice though.
(Thu 28th Feb 2008, 14:14, More)

» Insults

Silly Fat People
At my Weight Watchers weigh-in this lunchtime the leader called the woman in front of me a dozy old tickle. Lucky she didn't say it to me or she would have more to deal with than a few extra pounds.
(Tue 9th Oct 2007, 15:31, More)

» Stuff I've found

I have just found...
A bag of maggots in our fridge at work. I think the contents of the bag started out as ham or hummos - not sure which, but defo smelt disgusting. Like discharge. Dirty work colleagues.
(Tue 11th Nov 2008, 17:26, More)