Profile for behold the golden sausage:
Been there, done that, got the scars.
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- a member for 18 years, 4 months and 1 day
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Been there, done that, got the scars.
Recent front page messages:
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Best answers to questions:
» The worst sex I ever had
Anal Tear
Very good sex actually, but a nasty ending.
A few years back, pissed up at a party, I managed to pull a right dirty sort. Back to her place, clothes off quick time and the fun begins. She goes down, I go down, her on top, me on top, you get the picture. When pissed the creative, and other juices flow freely. Anyway, after about 20 minutes of ploughing through the Karma Sutra, I feel the pressure building and start doing her doggy as that's how I want to finish off. Pounding away, I notice her brown eye winking at me so I have the brilliant idea of jamming my index finger in it, in time to the rhythm. In, out, in, out etc. All seems to go well and satisfaction is achieved. Well, mine for sure anyway. I hop off, and lay on my back to catch my breath and she snuggles up and starts fondling the now Mr. Droopy. Ah, life don't get much better, this is grea...............YOWWWWWWOWWWWWWOOOWWWWW!
The bitch just jammed HER long-nailed, index finger up my ring saying "How the fuck do you like it?". Then dons clothes and buggers off into the night.
The bleeding stopped after 20 minutes or so, but the pain lasted for near enough 2 weeks and sitting was not fun.
Funnily enough, I've never tried that stunt again.
Length? Girth? None at all for a fortnight.
(Tue 19th Jun 2007, 16:06, More)
Anal Tear
Very good sex actually, but a nasty ending.
A few years back, pissed up at a party, I managed to pull a right dirty sort. Back to her place, clothes off quick time and the fun begins. She goes down, I go down, her on top, me on top, you get the picture. When pissed the creative, and other juices flow freely. Anyway, after about 20 minutes of ploughing through the Karma Sutra, I feel the pressure building and start doing her doggy as that's how I want to finish off. Pounding away, I notice her brown eye winking at me so I have the brilliant idea of jamming my index finger in it, in time to the rhythm. In, out, in, out etc. All seems to go well and satisfaction is achieved. Well, mine for sure anyway. I hop off, and lay on my back to catch my breath and she snuggles up and starts fondling the now Mr. Droopy. Ah, life don't get much better, this is grea...............YOWWWWWWOWWWWWWOOOWWWWW!
The bitch just jammed HER long-nailed, index finger up my ring saying "How the fuck do you like it?". Then dons clothes and buggers off into the night.
The bleeding stopped after 20 minutes or so, but the pain lasted for near enough 2 weeks and sitting was not fun.
Funnily enough, I've never tried that stunt again.
Length? Girth? None at all for a fortnight.
(Tue 19th Jun 2007, 16:06, More)
» What's the most horrific thing you've seen?
7 men blended
The most brilliant...errrr...I mean horrific thing I ever saw was the remains of a BTR-80 (Russian built personnel carrier) that had been hit with a Milan anti-tank rocket. The contents, 3 crew and 4 passengers were well and truly minced, pulped and cauterised.
Anyway, on the bright side, it's nice to know all that training on the Milan simulator is worth it.
Should have stopped when they were told to, silly bastards.
(Mon 25th Jun 2007, 18:42, More)
7 men blended
The most brilliant...errrr...I mean horrific thing I ever saw was the remains of a BTR-80 (Russian built personnel carrier) that had been hit with a Milan anti-tank rocket. The contents, 3 crew and 4 passengers were well and truly minced, pulped and cauterised.
Anyway, on the bright side, it's nice to know all that training on the Milan simulator is worth it.
Should have stopped when they were told to, silly bastards.
(Mon 25th Jun 2007, 18:42, More)
» Council Cunts
Legless
Nothing makes a statement quite like greeting a complete and utter c*nt with a 10 second burst from a heavy machine gun. I know this may sound a little over the top initially, but if it's Charlie, fuck 'er, give her 15 seconds and a good hard kick in the flange.
Sorted.
Statement made.
Length? 15 to life if you follow this advice.
(Thu 26th Jul 2007, 17:07, More)
Legless
Nothing makes a statement quite like greeting a complete and utter c*nt with a 10 second burst from a heavy machine gun. I know this may sound a little over the top initially, but if it's Charlie, fuck 'er, give her 15 seconds and a good hard kick in the flange.
Sorted.
Statement made.
Length? 15 to life if you follow this advice.
(Thu 26th Jul 2007, 17:07, More)