b3ta.com user mistressmuck
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Profile for mistressmuck:
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Enjoy bookbinding, medieval reinactment and dogging. Not really. I like violent gigs, vintage toys, sci-fi, burlesque, reading in the afternoon, getting messy, cider in pubs, long walks, ancient museums, skulking in graveyards, eating junk and charity shops, amongst many other things. I am also rather into turning on and tuning in, reading philosophy, smokin' jokin' and midnight pokin'.


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» Body Mods

A frank and refreshingly honest if somewhat gauche description...
Several years ago my beau and his ol' china plate Dan found themselves in Soho, riding high on giddy post-gig euphoria. Stumbling into a cheap and nasty alehouse they bought themselves a tiddlywink each and meandered to the back bar. There, sat on a bar stool was a craggy blonde of advancing years, in a shortshort mini-skirt and cheap heels, legs mapped with deep varicose veins. Dan promptly went for a wizz, leaving my boyfriend alone with the car crash, who looked him in the eye and awkwardly smiled. She then proceeded to slowly part her wobbly legs to reveal her penchant for going commando as well as the word

"COCK" tattooed on her inner right thigh


"PIT" on her left.

There were little arrows too, accompanying the text, unobscured by the creeping pubes.

I hope you enjoyed that. I didn't.
(Fri 1st Dec 2006, 16:01, More)

» Work Experience

Foot Fun
As a wayward 15 year old I managed to blag a Saturday gig at the established footwear giant 'Clarks'. All was fun and games until I noticed a couple of elderly gentlemen coming in to get their feet measured. Come again? Yep, I presume they rather enjoyed young nubile lovelies on their knees, at their feet, rubbing their calluses. I point blank refused and shortly after got a job as a teen escort as I figured the pay was better.*

*this is an attempt at humour, I have never once been paid for sexytime.
(Fri 11th May 2007, 13:27, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Art Terrorism. Quite funny.
Back at university a renegade named Pat had a tasty habit of printing off slogans on little stickers and sticking them in public enclosed spaces. My favourite, which I once spied on a horribly packed tube, was "Cough Freely. Be Generous with Exotic Diseases" ;)
(Wed 9th May 2007, 16:15, More)