» Beautiful but Bonkers

I'm not a stalker....Really!!!
I was 21 Sweet and innocent living away from home at college.

I met this guy, cute if a little self absorbed and hair obsessed. I fancied him from the first time I saw him handing out flyers at the cinema.
I did things for this guy that I would never have expected (some of which are not even legal in the UK).
I started going to places I knew he was going to and hanging out with his friends.
I found out where he lived and even ingratiated myself with his mum.

Over the next 8 years I have followed him around, even preventing him dating anyone else.


Then again I did marry him 2 years ago after a 6 year engagement:-)

Honestly the things you do for lust.


Be gentle its my first time.
(Sun 19th Nov 2006, 20:11, More)

» Housemates from hell

Hell holds no fear for me after this lot.
I have had my share of odd flat mates and will freely admit to being petty....

1st year Uni The girl who took over the sitting room as her TV was colour but because it was hers she got to choose what was watched, then inviting her female friend to stay over (sharing her double bed!!!) who then would stay up all night on her own and cook seperate meals, while my flat mate who blow styled her hair for an hour each morning demanded to pay less on the bills as she went home each weekend in her nice new car daddy bought her to see her boyfriend. This is the same BF who threatened to hit me because I moved the remote for the afore mentioned TV.... I said if he ever came back I would call the police. In this same flat while we were hime for christmas and easter the owner thought it was OK to stay overnight with the spare keys she kept.

2nd year Uni Owner occupier two words that should make you run a mile. Also like many of the other posts a social worker added wierdness Welsh speaking. She clearly wanted someine to pay her rent and never be there I know this cause she pretty much said it to my face. She was nice enough but did odd things like not put subtitles on when watching something in welsh because she thought it would damage the TV so I would try to read or something which was hard because she would keep telling me hat was going on “he just said to her that the baby’s not his” type thing. And one day she came home and I was playing on my game boy (old style B/W) and she freaked out thinking it might damage the TV. I never did work out how that might work. I was asked to leave due to ‘being there’ after 3 months. Then I moved in with friends who were loverly but it didn’t work out as they hadnt been married long and what with the baby they needed there space but thanks for mid term rescue. Finaly that year I ended up in a half board B+B where we were not allowed in the kitchen had to be in by 10pm no visitors and her strange grandson would hide behind the chairs in the students sitting room and spy on us. We had no say in what we had for tea and frequently if was something that I just couldn’t eat (I used to be quite fussy) and I was too poor to buy anything else (living on less than £3 per week). I learned to make meals with a kettle and did you know instant whip can be made by drinking 1/3 of a pint of milk and pour the powder into the bottle close and shake.

3rd year Uni A little tip if you’re a science student never live with art students they just ponce around smoking joints the size of parsnips and playin loud music with their mates while you try very hard to sleep the night before your exam/ big paper is due and not quite finished so requires an early start. They just don’t get it as exams happen to other people and deadlines involve making a mess on the carpet with little foam blocks and sandpaper.
Although at least one was the perfect house mate,never seen or heard and we even doubted that he existed until he got some mail!

3rd year summer break just me and one housemate left for the holidays and she is moving out in a couple of weeks. New guy comes to view a room seems a bit weird sets the spider sence jingling both of us after he leaves hope he didn’t like the place…. He did and moves in a week later he is about 35 and a philosophy student who likes the house because its near the art house cinema. Seems ok if weird, buys tesco value fizzy water cause its cheaper than the still type and makes coffee with is (I find out later that he isnt disposing of the bottles but collecting them). Wierd but harmless????? Not really the day the other girl moves out his manner changes he snaps. Coming home I say hi in the hall, as you do, only to be told in frightening terms that I will only speak to him if gives me express permision first. Among other things he is about a foot taller than me and the eyes say craaazzzyyyy…… I try to put up with coming home and locking myself in my room and hoping not to see him (when I do see him its scarey). I eventualy tell my land lady who chucks him out.

4th year more art students aggghhh!!! Nice people for the most part one guy leaves at christmas due to spending his grant and loan on gifts and travelling to see his GF. Unfortunately he left his biggest fan behind.
This is a boy who chose for his first year in Uni to leave the co-ed halls where the heating was stuck on "all the girls were running around in their undies" he complained, to move into a box room with a boiler in it just to be near his friend (who didn’t really like him that much anyway). Well we were all convinced so we took him clubbing with some gay mates of mine to get an expert opinion. It was decided that he couldn’t be gay because he hadnt ironed his T-shirt :-)
Later in the year he bought a phone as the house phone was broken and he decided he wanted a posh mobile handset which he would leave locked in his room when he went home for weekends, so we had to buy a cheap binatone anyway. Cant remember why but for some reason he go all worked up just before my exams and threatend to hit me and at about the same time my bicycle breaks were tampered with so I spent my final’s staying at my new BF’s place with the woman who was to become my mother in law (boy did she make me nervous, still does).

Many of the details of the wierdness and scaryness of these have been lost in the years since then , especially since after housemates from hell came neighbours from hell.

Also we let a friend stay for a couple of weeks as we foundout he was sleeping in his car. A couple of weeks turned into 3 months in the tiny 2 up 3 down cottage we were in at the time. I eventually asked him to leave as he wasn’t even looking for somewhere else. Well why would he, living rent and bill free.


I feel the need to ask...

IS IT ME ?????

Sorry about the length but I missed out loads to keep it this short.
(Mon 9th Apr 2007, 2:32, More)

» Pet Stories

free gift ....
two years in november mr mouse and I went to the local organic free range pork farm to stock up on bacon and sausages and chops etc and as we were leaving the farmer added "you dont want a kitten do you?" we said we would have to think about it and a week later went back to visit the herd of mewing fluff balls. We agreed to take two as we felt that when we were in work they would keep each other company, and as they were due to leave mum during christmas week and we worried people would take them as presents. a couple of weeks later we went shopping and near bankruted ourselves on brushes food litter trays beds pet disinfectant (its purple) and all the other things baby kitties need. That evening we got the call.... "can we bring them round tonight they are under foot and their mum is sick of them" so we recieved our little fluff balls both what terry pratchett would describe as real cats. Black and white longish furred female farm cats. we called them lilo and stitch.

We loved them from the second we knew they were ours and spoilt them rotten. Unfortunatly some evil bastard knocked lilo over when she was only 17 months old. we were heart broken but had to be strong for stitch. we worry because she has no company but us and is very playful we think we should get her a friend but dont know if she would get on with another cat.
we think she wants a pet as she keeps bringing live animals and birds home pretty much un harmed (although she pulls flight feathers out of birds to ground then) we had real trouble finding what to do with the baby field mouse which fell asleep in my hand (so cute) luckily the RSPCA took it to a wildlife sanctuary for us.

PS I was pretty much raised by my families pets and still have a habbit of growling over my food.
(Mon 11th Jun 2007, 16:42, More)

» Failed

one bad turn leads to another.
Condom failed the night before an exam.

Failed exam due to me spending said exam sobbing about ruined life and planning trip to family planning clinic for morning after pill.

On the whole not the best way to pop your cherry.
(Tue 9th Jan 2007, 19:18, More)

» Terrible food

I've got a strong stomach me......
I have always said dont knock it until you have tried it.
In that spirit of enquiry I once tried fermented bean sprouts at a japanese restaurant in Cardiff (generally good place) it was like eating the stuff you get when you leave a bag of salad in the fridge slimy and vile but with no actual flavour.
That isnt the worst thing I ever ate though.....

My baby brother got married, which is a perfectly normal thing to do. The thing is he got married at a truck stop, or at least that was where the reception was.
Mr mouse his mother and I travelled up the day before and stayed in the "hotel" attached to the service station that night. breakfast was in the canteen so I picked coffee and bacon and eggs. Mr Mouse (the fussy type with a weak stomach) got orange juice and cornflakes (mum in law slept in).
The morning conversation went something like this:

MM. Does this orange taste funny (spits out sip into napkin)

FM. Let me try (sips orange and swallows (its only polite)) Yes it tastes sort of fizzy thats odd, you had better not drink it not with your tummy.

later at registry office
FM. Hot in here isnt it

MM. Not especially

Later at truck stop while waiting for the party to start
FM. I think I need some air.

This was then followed by me re-enacting scenes from the exorcist with allied expulsions all night.
Him calling the doctor and going between our room to check on me and his mums room to check on her (dont expect her to talk to anyone un-aided).
The doctor said I had food poisoning (give the man a prize) and said I should rest and take fluids but we had to get his mum to Birmingham in the morning to catch her connection so she could be met at the other end by MM's cousin who would give her a lift home.

Cue me barely able to stand on a crowded hot train (I normally get motion sick when I'm not ill) I survived.... somehow.

At Birmingham we stuck her on a train and booked into a hotel just outside the station.

Phoned work to let them know I wouldnt be in the following day and passed out for 18 hours or so.


The Moral........
Dont go to weddings at truck stops.

I would appologise for length but he never does.
(Thu 17th May 2007, 22:21, More)