» My Worst Vomit

Spaghetti Vom
OK well sit down kiddie's and let me tell you an enchanted story of Swansea, Spaghetti and Stella Atoir.

It was 4pm on a friday afternoon and i sit down to a nice big plate of spaghetti bolognese, a very nice meal and since i normally turn my nose up at this particular dish it was damn enjoyable and a wolf it all down in about 10 mins flat.

Next it's off upstairs and getting ready for a night out on the bricks in swansea with my mates.....i have a few warm up pints of Carling and nick a box of 24 bottles of stella from the house before making my way to cardiff central station. "open return to swansea" and i board my train.

about half way there and 10 mins outside neath there is somthing gone wrong and the trains stops. at this point i whip out my copy of nuts and my toblarone and start munchin away. after about 5 mins a fight breaks out on the train....at this point i break open my box of stella, after 15 mins of searching for a bottle opener i resort to opening the lovleyness with my teeth. its 6pm now and i decide i might aswell make a good start since my mates in swansea are bound to be doing the same.

it reaches 7:30 and i get into swansea station still carrying 16 bottles of stella and i much the worse for wear. taxi to the uni hallls.

i walk in drop my box of stella and start on the drink table, gradually becoming more stoned and drunk i consume 1 whole bottle of margaritta, half a litre bottle of vodka, 3 fink brau's and a whole hoast of other lovley boozey treats. anyway to cut out the bit of the story i cant remember i pass out! in the middle of the floor like so many have before me. after a little kip i will cut to my mates description..........

I start to convulse, shake and i sit up, more shaking and like an explosion in hells kitchen on italian day spaghetti flows from me like bad language from and essex girl. out of my nose a long strand of spaghetti hangs and i pull and keep pulling as a very long peice of spaghetti come from me.

after this the room clears dues to the horrid smell in the room which still is there to this day 7 months later, i lay down and sleep in my own spaghetti vom and upon waking find last nights dinner stuck to my hair!

All in a good night!
(Sun 22nd Aug 2004, 20:04, More)

» Shit Stories

Blue!
A friend of mine told a story to me which i found quite interesting.. .. .. Once while on a night out in university she saw and offer for WKD (not being much of a lager drinker)she decided that as they were cheap she would take up the offer and the only colour of the sickly drink they had was blue......well ater this particularly heavy night of drink she woke up and went about her usual business when it came to the business of emptying her bowels she found what she could only describe as a Big blue poo!

So there you have it Drink loads of WKD blue and shit blue the next day.
(Thu 6th May 2004, 15:39, More)