b3ta.com user wardicus
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» IT Support

Sales Director
Well I do hate salesman, all that smarmy stuff and stabbing people in the back sort of thing. Well I worked for an IT company in Liverpool which also had a office in London. The sales director was a right dickhead and i couldnt stand him, things got worse when he promised to pay me overtime to go to germany to sort out some problems and then renaged when I got back.

This was about the time when windows was shoddier than it is today and it was possible to send a remote command to any windows pc and have it immediately reboot with no explanation(for IT Geeks it was the ping of death). So everyday at preciesly 3pm I would nuke his pc in London from liverpool. I kept this up for a number of weeks chuckling away to myself as I did it.

I found out later that he had his computer replaced four times, and would invite people into his office at 3pm each day to watch his pc miraculously reboot.
(Sat 26th Sep 2009, 21:01, More)

» IT Support

Stevie Cam
We had an odd sort of bloke in the IT department, he was good looking but lacked confidence with women and at nearly 40 still lived with mummy and daddy.

We all knew he spent most of the day surfing porn and shopping for brides on russian brides dot com. He had his PC strategically placed so that the screen could not be seen by other staff and he would always minimise what he was doing when anyone came near.

This was about the time when web cameras started to emerge, and hail stevie cam. I hid a web camera in the book case behind him and hooked it up to a web page. I then gave everyone in the office the link and password so we could all tune into to stevie. Lo and behold yep he was bride shopping and watching some rather odd porn in between chatting to women pretending to be a lesbian.

He still does not know he was being watched, however the whole office had agreat laugh.
(Sat 26th Sep 2009, 21:09, More)

» Work Experience

Fishy Carrots anyone?
not exactly work experience but i had to share this one.

When i was at college i had a part time job in a local fruit and veg store. Southport to be precise and it was right by the train station. Fantastic, everyday 1000's of fine totty specimens waltzed by, it was like fish in a barrel anyway i digress.The guy i worked with had keys to the shop and would go out on the town after work most saturdays. He was quite a good looking guy and would usually score.His party piece was to bring them back to the shop and use various vegetables in his sex acts. Worst thing was he would put them back on the shelf unwashed!
(Sun 13th May 2007, 9:54, More)

» IT Support

Divide by Fish
Many moons ago I worked in IT support for a Cotton Trading company. The company was based in Liverpool and I had a wicked sense of humour. We installed a new system for some of the users so that they could use windows on their Unix terminals.

We had a new software developer start shortly after we went live and I couldnt help playing a few jokes on him. I would randomly send "divide by fish" error messages onto his screen asking him to call IT support with error code "Flibble". Unfortunately he could smell bull shit a mile off and didnt speak to me for 6 months, strangely we are now best friends and its just his girlfriends I seem to upset.
(Sat 26th Sep 2009, 20:53, More)

» Work Experience

Poll Tax Fun
Finished college looking for a job so off i toddled to the local job centre. I told the nice lady how much money i would like and she looked at me like i was nuts!

She went away and came back a few minutes later with a smile on her face, i have just the job, working for the local council in the poll tax department.

How popular was I?

anyway the job was easy and the office full of lame nuts that only a council could employ.

I soon found that the best skive was to work in the letter stuffing department, some machine did all the work and i just watched it.

I then hatched a plan, the letters i was stuffing were demands for payment and i actually knew a few of the people i was sending them to. After a few slight alterations with a marker pen to the bills bingo, the new penalty for not paying your poll tax was being hung drawn and quartered!

hated the job and jacked it in soon after but i would have loved to see their faces.
(Sun 13th May 2007, 9:17, More)
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