b3ta.com user bacneman
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for bacneman:
Profile Info:


Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Well, that taught 'em

those bitches
i was just minding my own business cleaning the puke with my saw dust when these two girls came up to me and asked me what i was doing "cleaning up one of your little friend's sick" i said.

they pointed and laughed, "ahahahahahahahah" they said.

they never laughed at anyone again.

(Sat 28th Apr 2007, 16:25, More)

» Oldies vs Computers

your own story.

its what the button said to do
(Wed 27th Sep 2006, 18:37, More)

» The Weird Kid In Class

primary school
i shall start at the beginning, because starting at the end would be silly.

his name was Ian Bellamy, and i have not seen him in 7 1/2 long years. He would rock, front to back, then you would talk to him, and as he replied he would rock from side to side. then when he'd finished, front to back again.

in year 5 (8/9yo) he had an unusual obsession with space and the solar system. regularly informing us of the speed of the planets, and the number of earth days that jupiter took to revolve, brilliant. all i wanted was a pack of space raiders for 10p and i got a christmas lecture, who put him on tuck shop duty.

the next year, it was buses. he began to design buses. not so weird (except these buses had guns and knives and would be more at home on robot wars than the A13). eventually he read the entire highway code at break and lunch over a week and would walk around the corridors extending his arm to signal if he was turning left or right into classrooms and such, often telling people off who walked passed his left hand side telling us "not to overtake on the left hand side" and that it was an "illegal manouvre".
we went to different high schools and i heard that he moved on to designing F1 tracks.
then he died of a brain tumour.
i dont think the last ones true tho, ill find out at the re-union.

mines massive and it aint made of plastic
(Fri 19th Jan 2007, 11:58, More)

» Best and worst TV ads

this has almost certainly been on here...
... but 18 pages says i aint lookin':

(Tue 20th Apr 2010, 3:03, More)

» Pathological Liars

finally i have a story
the "i have never" drinking game is one most are familiar with.

***for those who arent, you all sit in a circle and say out loud something you have done, but say "i have never instead". you drink if you have done whatever it is. my best one of the night for those who care was proposing to my best mates ex-girlfriend***

but we were on a uni social early in the year and wanted to get ot know each other, this seemed like the fastest and most fun way of doing so. normally in this game theres always one person whos done more than anyone else, but max spent as much time drinking as oliver reed and george best on a stag weekend.

he had done it all... stolen a teddy bear and fucked it. kicked a swan. had sex with a girl he didnt really fancy, in a hammock, on a sail boat going across the atlantic. caught his parents having sex. heard his parents having sex whilst wanking and finishing himself off. had an ex-girlfriend shag him up the arse. drunk his own piss for a bet. fought a bouncer. spitroasted a girl with one of his best mates.

the list could quite literally go on.

after this little game i said unto him "surely some of thats bollocks mate, a little bravado to impress the ladies?"

to which he replied: "mate when youve been around as long as i have, and been at university as long as me. youll have done half that shit by the time you graduate"

he's a 22 year old student radio technician.

apologies for length, but you should read his CV!
(Fri 30th Nov 2007, 2:55, More)
[read all their answers]